Damn dumb

I dunno why but I'm in an ultra bad mood lols
Ok it's bcos of maths
But they all will kill me if they see this
I can't say anything to them :(
They will hate me lols
Veron was telling me
They worrying for their pass yet I worrying for my A
Thing is I can get A I not worrying
I'm just ultra upset that I didn't reach 90
That I didn't reach my goal

Well but it's a nice experience
Thanks to mr ang
Who encouraged me a lot this time
I actually felt like I can do it
First time I rly set proper goals
But looks like it's still too high.........
Wanted my name to be up there on the list
But not just there but on the first page
Asking for too much right?
Hope jos won't kill me after seeing this but anyway
No one to tell to le
They don't understand...

To me maths is everything lols
I always do badly for a lot subs
Usu maths best but not 100% all the time
But yet I still feel worst for not doing as well as expected for maths
P6 78/100 I cried in class and got hated more than I already was
I rmb last yr think is prelims or sth
Coz I usu will know an estimate of my marks de
I finished the maths paper
And I was damn depressed the whole trip home
Almost cried on the bus
I didn't do very well
Though better than a lot of them
But it was really upsetting:(
I always say
If I can't even do maths well
Then I have nothing left

Veron asked me this afternoon
Why my maths so gd
Then I say coz the rest not gd
But she n wanshan disagree
Wanshan say I quite balanced what
I didn't say anything I think
But I disagreeeeeeee
Is passing everything considered gd at the sub already????
Sorry I have higher expectations then...

Just now the question 5 REALLY CAN DO DE EH
SO SIMPLE DE LEH
WHY I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DO???!!?!??
So irritated at myself.................I could have gotten 90 de
Might have
Not so sure about the pnc question either
But at least I squeezed an answer out.

Dumbdumbdumb la

I really will doubt if I can handle h3 le leh...
Although it's much better than handling chem
Well I like chem but it's too heavy for me
Anyway although h3 is better but it's not a h2 subject after all
If any h2 die how????
So I must do well for my h2 subs and my h3 maths!

Shouldn't we improve every time? :(
I did promo 09 and got 86 while ms ang was lenient
I should improve :((( but I doubt I did....

Anyway this is a good lesson
I told myself to buck up and do better the next time
But I'm in a super upset mood now
Wanted grumble to my mum
So I bought bubble tea home though I know she will scold
I wanted her to ask y I buy
Then I will say I'm in a bad mood
But I came home and house got guest-.-
So I didnt say anything n got scolded
After tt she ask again haha
I say I'm in a bad mood
Wanted her to say sth nice for once JUST ONCE
She never did before and so she didn't today
She asked why then I say coz exams
Then she didn't ask le
All she did was say things like
Exam then must buy bubble tea meh
Don't u know it's not gd for health? Etcetc
Super irritating
I gng bathe ma so I quickly close the door and I somehow started crying
Crap!!!!
I was already moody
Just this once wanted to hear sth nice from her
Another too high expectations....
I just said I'm in a bad mood
And she started nagging wth nice...
Upset sia.

Should be studying super hard now
Since I didn't prepare much for cll and nth for chem
But I rly can't make myself read it eh
I feel like taking out some maths and do lols
Argh since I can't get 90 for maths
I probably have to get at least C for the rest of the subs?
Try.
But hopeless lor
D or E I happy le lor
It's not maths

It's ironic
Those well not like I'm happy with a pass
Just that I know I can only manage near pas or sth
So I dun care
Maths I A still 100x more upset lols
Actually usu not so exaggerating
Probably hoped too much ma
High hopes high disappointment
But I'm not giving up yet.

It's been damn long since I got a 90 n above score
For any exam
I wanted this to be that once
But it didnt happen
Next time mct or maybe jct
I want to make it happen...............
I hope it won't be too high hopes again.
Well today is pretty demoralising I'm not sure why...