INFJ

did this test like several times already....
always same result though different percentages haha

this time:
Introversion - 20%, Intuition - 7%, Feeling - 13%, Judging - 13%.

...

I NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG OK. ...

It's not the day to emo!

It's not the first time, not even the second time.
Probably third or fourth already.
To you, maybe I'm just throwing tantrums,
I'm having mood swings.
But I don't get upset for no reason at all you know.
Maybe it may seem exaggerating or unnecessary
But I'm upset for a reason. Not for nothing.
Though it always ends in nothing.

I have always looked down on myself,
Especially physically.
Sometimes I see people who others call fat,
And I will think, but their skin is so smooth
Or their hair is so nice.
I see short people,
I'll think, I'm short too but at least they look cute.
Unlike me.
I'm like short and fat and tanned
And my skin and hair are both horrible
I have countless scars on my legs and face,
I'm dropping hair, my hair quality is really poor,
My tummy accumulates fats so fast
And my legs are fat too.

So I really don't need you to keep harping on it.
I know you probably don't mean it.
You're just teasing me, but can't you ever,
Like EVER think from my point of view?

And how many times have I told you
not to keep looking at your phone?
Especially when I'm already upset.
I'm like emoing and you're on Facebook
Or reading some articles or whatsoever.

Yaya, go ahead and ignore me then you ask me what's wrong.
..

You know when you kept calling me fat today
The thought that appeared was
I don't want to eat. Don't want to eat.
I want to slim down.
Yea so no lunch today.

Anyway it's not the day to emo because
I have rally later!!!
How to get my mood back?=/

Out.

Get out of my life.
Stop ruining it. It's bad enough.

Exam is annoying in so many ways.
So many annoying ways of being annoying.
>.< Aish. Grgrgrgr.

Holding it in isn't easy but no choice.
STUDY.
I gotta study and...everyone else gotta study too.
Can't disturb....... >.<

Feeling so damn stressed today.
So worried.
Two papers tomorrow but I have no confidence for both.

Calculus II and Business Finance
Calculus I have revised all my notes
I thought it would be fine
but when I looked at the pyp
I really going crazy already
I can't do any of the questions.
Panic struck me. Seriously.

I thought I would be able to do it.

But maybe it's because of my state today
Have been feeling disoriented the whole day
throat feeling horrible
feels so dry and horrible and
my nose also working up
idiot. not at this time...
damn. haven't been able to focus well
doing pyp also can't think

but i very scared tomorrow also like that
then how >.<
i haven't even finish studying biz fin but there's barely an hr+
tmr after calculus to finish bizfin.
I really need bizfin to pull up my score
since my core are ALL so worrying

damn worried.
feel so stressed.
coz charlynn went home
i'm left in the room alone for a whole week
being alone and stressed is driving me crazy
cried a bit then come write this to calm myself down.

whatever it is
however it will be
i still have to finish doing everything
still gotta try my best

but i am really very worried
no confidence at all...

and the most confident module this sem
which is surprisingly c++
also screwed up coz some idiot friend
i taught her one of the assignment
she copied my code
and i think she share with others too
then me and another friend kana caught for plagiarism
wts i really wtswtswts feel like screaming at her
still have to act like nothing happened. she also nvr ask abt it alr
what the shit. seriously.
i emailed the TA several times but he is very insistent.
damn it.
out of sooo many who copied
why am i the unlucky one.
and i did it by myself some more damn. super angry one.

worst thing is the score for the assignment become -100
not even just 0 but -100. wts??!
i supposed to get full marks for my 4 assignments
total weightage 15%
but now become 7.5% bloody hell.
i really wanted to pull up my gpa using this mod
coz i was scoring 40++/50 until now. then coz of this.
zzz...what a horrible turn of events.

angry angry angryyyyyyyy

Damn angry.

haiz.

wts.

gr.gr.gr.gr.gr.gr.grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Breakthrough

Ok so what's the awesome breakthrough?

I actually started studying in the first week of school!! LOL
Alright, I decided that if I were to write notes again
I have to do it consistently
if not totally cannot catch up
Honestly now already a bit cannot catch up liao
for the notes part la coz every week new lectures
If I don't clear previous week's lecture notes
then they will just accumulate altogether like it did before.
But it's so difficult to finish each week's notes on time >.<
And what's more, there's tutorials to do~
But everyone haven't started studying
I feel weird kinda
but anyway I am trying to apply for overload
if it succeeds this semester is gonna be a really busy one.
Like seriously.
Now have 6 modules already.
If overload one more then is 7 modules already >.<
But one of them is mastering communication which is pass/fail la
but still quite a lot.
A little worried la so erm ya gotta start working!!! >.<

Been spending my first week with NTUBS people haha:)
Really nice people. So happy to know them
Not so complicated like with rhesus :P or others la
They are simpler. It's fun:D:D

It's me again:)

Hello! :)

Have been in school the whole of last week for hall othello trainings
in the end i still didn't get into the team
it was quite disappointing...because i really put in effort.
I started to like othello :) and i really tried my best to learn
and i made friends with them it was really nice
boss say wanted to choose me de but those few days
i wasn't doing well >.< like become lousier
so he reconsidered. he wanted to choose me and Vanathy
so we played. She won first round
i was worried but bc ask me to get my fighting spirit back
he asked me to try my best so i just focused again>.<
i won second round. was very happy
then third round i was leading, winning quite well
but i think made mistakes in mid-game
then in the end lost it
was really upset lols but oh wells
got over it after erm..a while la haha
It's sad to not get the desired results
after putting in effort
haiz. then today boss say difficult to rec me back into hall>.<
coz i not in the team. haiz.
looks like minimal hope for staying in hall next yr already...
sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

but anyway i got over it ma
then went to support them for the competition
was umpire for almost all the games
watch the pros play haha like spy la
see how they play report back their strength lor
out of the 7 rounds i watched 5 rounds of hall 9 hehe
1 round of hall 3.
hall 9 games are interesting. a lot of intense competition
their match with hall 16 was really interesting to watch!

anyway for our group (16 halls split into 2 grps)
all the strongest teams are in our group lols
hall 3 hall 9 hall 16
so well we couldn't get into the semi-s
but i think we are next after them ba..i think.
anyway the 3 halls were interesting LOL
hall 3 was the strongest supposedly, up to the last round
they won every single round! (5 tables per round so 3 to win)
before last match, the result was something like
hall 16 beat all halls except hall 3. so hall 16 beat hall 9
hall 9 beat all halls except hall 16. but hall 9 and 3 haven't played.
so last match i watched. hall 9 vs hall 3.
amazingly hall 9 won sia!!
so hall 9 only lost to hall 16
hall 16 only lost to hall 3
hall 9 only lost to hall 9
LOL they damn cute la.
so by number of rounds won
they are at a tie. won 6 rounds each.
so next to compare is the board count
hall 3 strongest their wins almost all 4-1 or 5-0 haha
but hall 9 and 16 very close also. i think 1 board diff only!
so anyway 9 and 16 tie again
but during their match up 16 had won 9
so therefore 16 entered the semi finals!

After the competition
we took turns to take photo with risan
coz it's his last yr alr. graduating soon:)
he damn cute la LOL shy and awkward guy
fits vanathy's ideal guy
LOL he's really cute
jiahui take photo with him
she put his arms around him
then he shy LOL super cute hahahaha
anyway he's super talllll
i take photo with him look even shorter LOL

Oh and mum called and scolded me
for not calling home for the whole week
not telling her if i was going home for dinner that day
Yet la actually. lols anyway damn sianz need face her wrath
when i go home haha :P

Then boss say treat us go eat ice cream at can 1!!! <3 p="p">so walk there la. then yupps eat ice cream.
awesome ice cream hehe.
zheng zhong also very nice
will laugh at our jokes and talk with us more haha
not as serious as the others
boss and keeyong so serious about the competition
like stressed or what. zheng zhong totally chillax LOL
but quite quiet la him mostly lols.

then after that zhengzhong went library
to prepare his admin stuff for next sem's exchange.
we went back to hall 8 to watch the semis
after that we went sac meet zheng zhong to play games hehe
too bad the others didn't want to join us.
they were too tired i guess haha
the competition really worn everyone out

jiahui initially wanted play house of dead on wii LOL
but we couldn't really decide on which game
then in the end we played snooker :D
so fuunnnnnnn :D:D:D:D
always wanted to learn how to play pool
coz friends and cousins always want go play
then i dunno how
so zheng zhong tried to teach me
jiahui also tried
last time my uncle taught me before
so putting everything together
i could play but not good la haha
just barely keke
but i managed to hit a few balls in!!!
but anyway the snooker table is so freaking huge so we cut it into half LOL
play on 1 side of the table only hahahaahha
and it was so funny la we keep playing cheat
just for fun ma also not serious game
we just adjust the balls accordingly LOL
like practice shooting or what hahahaa
there was once i was trying to hit a ball in
but got 2-3 other balls blocking the stick
very difficult to aim and hit
so i shifted the other balls away
then they laughed LOL
after that vanathy came and joined us
she also new to it
so we cheat even more for her LOL
keep adjust back position ask her try and try
until the ball goes in HAHA
anyway it was really fun:)

almost late sia after the game
had to rush back hall then rush home
even had to cab back from tanah merah
since i told mum will reach home by 6 lols
she not happy la when i reached home
but okay la what can she do
this morning scolded me again lor
=/ let her scold lor lols

bc so sweet:)
just now he say
'give you one chance. say anything you want'
LOL i was like huh for what
i said a few lines then i ask him why
he say coz i not very happy recently
so he let me say what i want
tell him my new yr resolutions haha:)
nice of him.
coz usually he seldom show much that he cares haha
so times like this are really nice.
reassuring i guess:)
hehe but he denied my resolution anyway LOL
he's still him after all hahahaha
overall he only put ONE resolution on PENDING LIST
LOLOL rubbish one la hahahaha

anyway can't wait for tuesday! :)))))
see him before i go for camp on wednesday.
hmm. the camp...hopefully goes well
shouldn't be too bad la not a complicated camp
just go temple do simple stuff
tuesday will be doing final preps for camp so
hope it goes well hehe
I'm GL after all. cannot screw up:)

TUESDAYYYYY
PLEASE COME QUICKLYYY <3 p="p">