BUAY GUM WAN LA GRRRR

DAMN BUAY GUM WAN LA WTS

GRRRRR
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
emo die me la wts.

just now otw back from tuition
then he ask me want go bintan/batam chill anot
like 2D1N less than 100sgd thing
sounds niceeeee <3 p="p">
then i rmb ytd my dad say my passport
that time renew only for 1 yr
then i ask my mum she say she think 1 yr also
then i tot cannot go coz going expire soon
coz april need to take oath and renew again
then less than 6 mths left
so i tell him i think my passport cannot.

then i go my mum drawer check my passport
valid till oct 2013
happy die me coz can go
then i go tell him
BUT HE ALR BOOKED WITH HIS FRIEND
WHY SO FAST!??

he say he told his friend want go chill
then his friend just say ok lets go
then like tt liao -.-

wts wts wts
i damn buay gum wan can LOL
I WANT GOOOOOOO
AHHHHHHH
IDIOT LA
why my dad say 1 yr only
now cannot go overseas.
ZZZZZZ
he also can faster a bit seriously -.-

when he told me tt
i immediately cry liao
ok la a bit over reacting
i also dunno why i cry but
seriously feel damn sianz
like freaking wts wts wts
buay gum wan max sia
MY HOLIDAYYYYYYY :(
our 2d1n trip flew awayyyyyyyyyy :(

he still can go enjoy grrr.
he damn shiok la end of the mth going thailand
come bk go bintan
next hols going korea and dunno whr else
GRRRRRR

damn angry.
feel like taking sth throw LOL
ok la not that kua zhang
just damn buay gum wan wts.
angry angry angry.

awfully awful

I know I'm thinking too much 

and asking for too much again.

but.

=/ i just will ma!

I will jealous of them,

feel insecure

and get worried.

and then angry. =/ 

Just want some reassurance

proof of care

to let me know how it actually is

to let me know im only thinking too much

just that what.

Then no need worry and worry

and feel so sianz

feeling 1-sided. 

then sometimes the little things u do

make me feel safer again and ill be happy.

guess im just too sticky.

and feeling sianz of hols....coz ill be home

too far away too little freedom too little chance

we dont even ever talk on the phone

while wt go genting wifi weak also want hear zz voice

even if just a while

im jealous=/

1 more paper to go!

YEA! ONE MORE PAPER TO GO!
FRIDAYYYYYY <3 p="p">
Anyway more updates on happpyyyy dayyy

He so nice sia
Coz he monday finished exam then
specially come pei me then go home
today he come back to pei me
and then go back home again
tomorrow morning driving lesson
and then pei me again and go home
then friday after my exammm <3 p="p">MOVIEEEEE
So shiok sia feels pampered keke.

Okay la though he kept bullying me>.<
like. SERIOUSLY.
kana bullied a lotttttt
but ok la quite fun i guess =/ LOL

有点。。。
恋爱的感觉。Happyy:)

I think it's easier to say ily
to people you don't love than
those you really love.
Maybe coz after become very close
it seems awkward to say it already
coz joke and fool around too much
not so serious :)
And also because the feeling
is definitely different :)

He didn't say but he wrote it on my hand
while I was studying LOL
I think it's quite cute keke
And compared to the initial dao-ness
that I kept complaining about
he's much better liao.
My prediction was right.
He was like that that time
mostly due to exam :)
Now he got time liao then can pei me liao hehe :)

ANYWAY BACK TO MUGGING~

So nice:)

Last few papers to go!!!
Taking a short break now so shall post^^

He so niceeee haha
He finished exams yesterday morning
then he come pei me study after my paper
though it was annoying that he was watching
running man and laughing behind me
but still haha
he pei me till dinnertime
he went home for dinner then
he tmr then come back school to pei me again
after my paper tmr haha :)
Then friday last paper
after tt go watch movie~in cinema
and then on my commmmmm
and then steamboat with rhesus :)

Looking forward to the end of exams!!!!

So annoying most people finished or finishing
Then rhesus say wed or thurs want go kbox
BUT I CANNOT GO :(

SMILE

Keke another happy post!

Well exams are starting soon
and there's still lots to study
but I'm still quite chill as usual.
So as usual.
But I got study la.
Not totally slack one.
More hardworking than jc liao at least
LOL doesn't say much I know :P

Wednesday first paper
AND second paper.
Then next monday wednesday and friday
THEN NO MORE :D:D:D
Can't wait sia :D:D:D

FREEEEDOOOMMMM~
Ok not really. Gotta go home
and trapped at home.
Except for sundays and thursdays
come back for tuition
and sometimes come back for
othello trainings in hall
or buddhist society camp preps.
Keke come back more freedoooommmm :D
Mum don't like it i'll be coming back often
but too bad :P
Stay home kana trapped only so boring haha.

Anyway. 7 dec end exam. 11am end!
Then at night is rhesus steamboat!!!
So awesome I can go though I leaving early
coz next morning got tuition
if not i want to drink and play overnight with them de lor!!
>.< anyway so i leaving early.
Just eat steamboat and drink....a bit keke.
Cannot drink too much if not mum will know >.<

Coz morning end paper till dinner then meet rhesus
wanted to ask him out for the afternoon
but he busy with exams i didn't want to ask yet
scared he busy then dun wan 理我 later i kana reject again
ok maybe exams excuses i just scared he dun wan
or he got plans or sth
then just now he ownself jio meeeeeee
super happppyyyyy
high or high sia super happy
like some idiot smiling to myself just now LOL

yayyyyyy we going watch 2 movies that day!
One in cinema one on my com <3 p="p">then go steamboat tgt after that.
What a lovely day it sounds kekeke
I CAN'T WAIT FOR EXAMS TO ENDDDDDDDDD <3 p="p">

For you to read lols.

Don't know if you will get a new gf soon
But anyway if you ever do
I hope you learnt your lessons...
did you? lols. 
Or you don't know what lessons to learn? 
Anyway for your future gf's sake,
try to understand this article.

脱了她的衣服后你给了她幸福吗

有一个女孩，她很爱她的男朋友。一天，她男朋友说想要她的第一次，开始女孩不肯，她男朋友就说，我那么爱你，以后肯定能娶你，如果你也爱我，就应该证明给我看。最后，女孩同意了。

后来有一天，女孩看见他的男朋友和别的女人亲密的走在一起，她知道他已经不爱她了，所以，他们分手了。

再后来，女孩又有了新男朋友。一天，女孩问他：" 为什么你从来都不碰我？"
" 因为我怕你会疼… "
" 我不在乎的。"
" 其实，我是怕有一天我们会分手，如果我真要了你，那你以后怎么办？哪个男人会找个二手货当老婆？"他诚实的回答了她的问题。

最后，女孩自杀了。她一直也没告诉她后来的男朋友，她已经失去了纯洁…

很简短的一个故事，可是给我的震撼却不是一点点…

男人们总是希望女人为他们坚守贞节，可是他们有没有拍拍良心问问自己，有没有为了女人而守身如玉？

当你想让你的女朋友为你献身的时候，有没有想过是否能给她幸福？

如果以后有天你们真的分手，那她怎么办？你在乎你的女朋友是不是纯洁，那其他人呢？他们就不在乎吗？

我还记得我朋友说过，女孩把自己保留了20多年，结婚之后，给了自己的丈夫，可是他的丈夫就一定是第一次吗？这样公平吗？为什么男人可以任由自己的欲望为所欲为，女人就要忍受男人，始终做个" 良家妇女" ？

结婚前男人为了得到她，总说自己不在乎，可结婚后就变了，一旦吵架男人就总会说：" 你在结婚前就被人弄过了! "这对一个女人来说是多大的侮辱？这样的婚姻又能维持多久？

男人总是为自己的行为找借口，想让她证明她爱你，就要她献出自己，如果她不同意，你就会认为她还不够爱你，不够信任你。回过头想想，你真的爱她吗？你有想过她的未来吗？

一个女孩，没有什么比自己的贞节更重要，一但决定把自己给了你，就是把她一辈子的幸福都交到了你手上，如果你真的爱她，就好好珍惜她。

如果你无法给她幸福，就不要葬送她的幸福，因为你一时的冲动，很可能会造成她一辈子的悲剧。

所以，希望男人们都能记得：不要轻易脱下她的衣服，除非你能对她负责，否则你将害了她的一生，背负一世的债，你自己又能过的安心吗？找到一个肯为了你而不顾自己未来的女孩，是你一生最大的荣幸，请好好珍惜她!

有人说：在21世纪的今天，找一个处女，很难。
我认为，找一个肯为你付出完完全全的自己的女孩，是难。
但，找一个肯为你的将来而不碰你的男人，更难。

男人啊! 都是欲食类动物，你们都希望你的女朋友要把她的第一次给你。但你们有没有想过，当一个女孩愿意成为你的女人时，她的未来需要承受多少风雨。

你不知道，你只是一味要求她付出，那你呢？ ？你又付出了什么？女人的第一次男人清楚，但男人的第一次又有多少女人清楚？ ？

你能在要了她的第一次之后永远不变心吗？

你能在要了她的第一次之后娶她做老婆吗？

如果不能你知道对她的伤害多大吗？

脱了她的衣服，你给了她幸福吗？

如果你给不了她幸福，请停下你那双肮脏的手...

有句话说：如果不能为她穿上嫁衣，请别脱她内衣!!

Really very happyyyyy

haha :)
I don't know if this is overreacting
but...I really very happy:)

I don't know how much it would mean to him
but it means A LOT to me.
Especially for me because of
whatever I have gone through before.

He said he doesn't mind.
He practically had zero reaction.
Afternoon talked to him about it
he wasn't serious he didn't bother
he just joked around
but he at night text me
say 'anw. let's practice abstinence. respect ok.'
I shock dao eh.
It really means a lot to me:)

And I think it says a lot.
Because he knows I care.
Because he knows I don't want.
Because he's willing to respect me.

You see the difference?
Even after the incident
you didn't change.
But yet.
Alright. Shouldn't make comparisons.
Sorry.
Anyway.

Really very happy:)
Feel so lucky suddenly.

Honestly before this
I still had doubts.
I wasn't willing to trust him totally.
Coz he really too fast liao ma
I don't know how true he was.
But now I trust him.

Coz honestly that day he quite shock me
then today suddenly like tt
i very happy
though he say finish he say
guy tell me that he noble or what LOL
then he go emo one corner
BUT hehehe :P

so awesome :)

Easier said than done

Honestly everything is easily said
but so difficult to really do.

Letting go really an easy thing,
no one said it was.
But everyone can do it...
everyone can but
they just take different length of time to.

I say I have let go.
I say everything is in the past.
I say I don't care anymore.
But yet there's something there
something tugging me.

Some things I have really let go.
I know I have.
I don't care like before.
But things left behind from the past...
they are still there.
Leave me wondering about the future.
Leave me insecure and worried.
Seems more difficult to give my all.

In any relationship
I expect both parties to give their very all.
Both parties should contribute
and achieve that balance.
But everything is easier said than done.
Because humans are greedy...
nothing is ever enough.
We will always complain that
the other party is not giving enough
the other party doesn't care enough
the other party is not good enough
the other party etcetcetc...
There's always something to pick on.
Then it boils down to how much you can accept.

Well, technically to start a relationship
in the first place,
the basic flaws must be ones that you can accept.
Things that you should NOT complain about
once you accept him.
Because accepting him includes those flaws.
Other flaws will surface gradually after that...
and the initial acceptance include those too..
Acceptance of every little thing he does
and all the flaws he has
that's what's gonna make it succeed.
Oh well, and trust and not betraying trust.

Honestly...it sucks seeing your guy
flirting with other girls all the time
and letting it go all the time
just to see it happen again next time.
And just assuring yourself that
he's just playing, he doesn't mean it.
Because even if he's not serious with them...
he's still playing. And that sucks.

And people should learn from their mistakes.
No, they should SEE their mistakes first.
And learn from them.
Not see nothing and learn nothing.
Or see and still learn nothing.

alright. that's all.
bye~

Oh...

Oh ya...erm.

So..do you want to take snowy back?
Sorry but it's still lying on my table lols.

I'll pass by one day and
throw it into your room through the window okay.

Oh I forgot to bring it back this time.
Next time next time...

new date

Okay I didn't expect this at all
like months ago.
But anyway become like that liao.

15/11/12
new date to remember :)
well. in the end.
i haven't told him abt it.
because he say it doesn't matter=/
threw me the past present future quote
the 'the past has past. the future is a gift,
that's why it's called a present.'
something like that.
anyway he say he never cared abt the past
and never will.
so aiya for now
haven't say.
i'll probably tell him next time.
but not now...
yea. :)

anyway my 3g data reached limit le sia
freak la that day download vid
used 3g instead of wifi then cui haha
exceeded liao
so i probably not going to on 3g for the next 2 days
coz 18th restart liao keke.
so if shuting reads this before 18th don't whatsapp me.
can text me though:)

See ya~

自虐

I think I'm a 自虐狂 wts LOL
It's called masochist right? lols
seriously.

He's freaking qian bian
but LOL aish...
AISHHHH

last warning ah!

Lolol seriously
this guy.
freaking qian bian
act nice only sia last time
HAHA
but very mushy hahaha
seriouslyyyy LOL

everyone knows i like to argue
but this one...high lvl...

Aish.

Honestly...
I don't dare to leh.
Don't dare to start again.
Scared of failure.

But he is totally new.
He totally no fear
no considerations sia-.-

Anyway today found his old blog
and realised he isn't as guai
as he appeared to be.
He's nice and mugger la still
ok la guai...still quite guai
besides not good with family?
and very qian bian.
Ok la technically that's a good thing
HAHA. Match you mei you....

Since we met hor
we have been talking very nicely
like very ke qi and stuff ma
but just now talk on fb
he really freaking qian bian HAHA
Ok start from top.

Pitch perfect is finally out!
Have been waiting for it since
we watched step up previously haha.
He got jio me but he say
he don't really wanna watch
so I ask other friends first ma.
Supposed to watch with kim on thurs
but today 5+ he suddenly ask if wan watch today
coz tmr holiday ma. but pitch perfect no tix nearby
so we wanted watch skyfall instead.
heard it's really good too!
Then almost fixed liao hor
bh jq caelyn zhen liang kaixun walked over
they say wan watch pitch perfect (kx didn't go)
then in the end pangseh bc coz quite rush anyway
so went 801 put bag first and take car.
Almost cannot watch sia
coz they just realised no tix at 7-.-
so we went amk to watch 9.30 show.
Jam sia then freaking hungry la took like 1.5hr to reach amk.

But pitch perfect is really nice!!!!
Super funny and niceeee
a lot of cheers claps and laughter throughout the show in the cinema
like high or what sia everyone
damn funny la de show
good. really. (Y)
Highly recommended!

After the show went 801 take bag
and cool down rest a while
took one sip of hoegaarden kekeke
then left 801
bc walked me back room:)
holding hands. lols><
but anyway it's getting better.
As in we are talking more comfortably.
Slightly la. Still not say natural la
but ok la better lor.

After that we were talking on fb ma
then ya as i said i found his blog
sec 3 blog keke
then finished reading it. Not very long haha
he didn't post a lot.
But found out that he's been damn qian bian
since long time ago.
Like really qian bian hahaha
the way he talk la i mean hahaha.
but more or less quite guai lor.
Though his life was quite obsessed with
sleeping, studying, money, and chiobus
HAHA but ok la quite common for guys?
Oh and probably gaming too.

Then he talk to me
suddenly very qian bian also lols
LOL i forgot how it started la
i say he very funny coz i reading the blog
then he was like 'now then you know your bf very funny'
then i was like what bf sia LOLOL
ya i think from there he started to qian bian LOL
i told him i don't dare start yet want slowly
then he say ok not together. got it. haha
then i say take it slow ma
then he keep saying i regretting liao LOL

anyway say a lot of stuff lor.
Oh ya i asked him
'if i say i really don't want how?'
then he say 'won't happen lol. not even a point of consideration'
HAHA seriously last warning hahaha.
then i was saying he sec 3 obsessed with chiobu etc etc ma
then ask why he wasnt attached
he say biggest mystery ever haha
then he say too hot in demand liao too many chiobu
very troublesome
HAHA seriously hahahaha.

Aiya that's all la.
Haish. don't know leh=/

Though he's quite funny and nice
but I think I can't help comparing lols =/
I know it's very unfair to him though
so trying to stop it lols
i scared he is not sweet enough
or cannot spend enough time with me
not sensitive or caring enough also.
I scared I will grumble a lot
complain a lot
scared it won't work out=/

Scared...

Also scared he minds...haish.
Haish. Haish. This one worst.
Only fair for him to decide after he knows.
But how can I tell him=/
Haish...

But no matter what
I still think need more time...

Post to you.

Well I know you would be reading this
so yea I just read your blog.
And I want to say some things.

For one you ought to stop following this blog.
Why hurt yourself lols
never understood you. this part of you.
you never seem to learn
or even try to...

Anyway...back to topic.

Sometimes I wish we never started
Not because I'm regretting la
I admit it was a great time together alright.
But..I wish it didn't start at all
because of all the negativity in it
and even after it.
Because I wouldn't have to hurt you
by choosing to leave, that is.
I wish you didn't meet me at all
then your life could have been different.
It didn't have to be like that now.

I do hope I have made a positive impact in your life
I always tell you that
but I never do see the results I want
With everything else closing in on me
I chose to leave
and I still feel sorry for it.

I don't know how many times I have said this
but

Just move on.
Seriously.
Don't tell me you can't.
You totally can. It's a choice.
It might take time but it's totally possible.
You're the one who doesn't want to let go.
it's a WANT.

Anyway yea that's all. Get on with your life.
You can do great too.

continued!

okie so ytd after coming back his hall
we continued studying
then halfway he walked over to me
and bend over to hug me from behind
at the neck area just hug lor haha
i think i jerked a bit like 闪 a bit la
coz i really tio shock hahaaa

he hold my hands tt time
i also got shock a bit la hahahha
i was like 干吗 haha
but quite soft la he didnt reply me haha
thn just leave it lo

then just hold hand walk back hall n back
and also when gg back after tt tt time.

anyway i was saying...
ah when he hug me i shock hahaa
coz i was talking abt sth then he just hug me
i paused like one sec then pretend nth
and continue talking but he got up le la hahaha
quite ps hahaha

he everyday keep ask me sleep earlier
but ownself sleep super late la.
none of the days he sleep earlier than me la.
seriously unfair-.-

anyway now i also dunno how leh.

dunno if he treat me as his gf or what lols
but i nvr treat him as bf yet haha
so still a bit blur.....

dunno if we suitable anot...

i feel that..
we not very natural yet leh
at least i'm not la i think.

like we are quite quiet sometimes...

sometimes feel like i talking but he not listening also=/
and he seldom jio me one
cant rly tell if he really like me lols

dunno if he is happy to see me
he last week see me smile until so happy
i like that smile:)
but now he nvr leh hahahha
he just nod only-.-
seriously confuse die me laaa

then also seldom jio me or try to meet mr
mugging is his priority i think.
thats not wrong of coz.
but he doesnt even jio me to study tgt
sometimes ask him study tgt he also don want
coz he doing work dont want come out or sth
=/ well its good hes serious at his work
just that i dont know what to think ma.

but ytd he like tt hor at least i know
he still feels the same.
can liao ba i guess.

see how it goes ba.
coz now still not very natural
not really opened up
i can talk and stuff but somehow
still got sth holding me back ba

but one thing is i feel more small girl
when with him hahahaha
don't know good or not also.

Too many uncertainties.
He very not obvious leh hahaha
but he evergreen la
so maybe not so good at it:)

I'll give it some more time...
and see how lo

KEKEKE

Studying in his room now!!

He finally jio me sia. 

Today our roomies both not in

so he jio me study together:)

then just now i need to go back hall

to take out my contacts ma

he walk me back then

on the way he hold my hand LOL

so shy>< a bit surprised 

though I did expect him to la hahaha

now back here.

and

BACK TO STUDYING

got stupid matlab quiz tmr:(

Right or Wrong?

I don't know what is right
and what is wrong about this.

Weiting disagrees with me
but =/ I'm just like this leh.
I also warn myself a lot
but it's difficult to change one.
Just like that lor.

I get attached to something
or someone
very easily.
But I also get out easily.

Good or bad thing?

Like good for me bad for others hor?

But I still mean what I say each time.
Even if I change fast.
Each time is still true.
And I only change
when I can...
as in when there is no commitment
nothing already.

Just don't hold on to something
as long as some do only.
And get attracted a bit too easily.


Is it still wrong?

Anyway...first time kana confessed eh LOL

this one nice guy.
different from rhesus de paikia type of nice haha
really the guai and nice type but not nerd la.

BUT!
he a bit too fast leh=/
don't know how serious he is yet
everyone say wait and see
and yea still need to know him better lols

SERIOUSLY leh
dammmn fast
only know him few days><

Since first day he very obvious already actually haha
Super nice one.

He's bh's ns mate. same bunk n unit de.
Brothers la i think haha.

That day he ate dinner with us (rhesus)
he was sitting opposite me la
then everyone talktalktalk joke etc
then when candy was trying to teach us
do some hand tricks
i couldn't get it right.
then he tried to teach me ma
he got like touch my hand to do the trick
i didn't think so much la but after tt
weiting say the rest noticed it
then i think they alr started thinking too much hahaha

then after that i got ntubs stuff at hall 8 ma
halfway i saw that he added me on fb
so i accepted liao go stalk him a bit
got his phone number from fb go whatsapp him LOL
then talk a bit.

after that i went to bh's room coz just downstairs.
then he text me ask if im back in hall
i say no kidding ask him fetch me
he is bh's friend ma so he say ok
he really come down join us wor
in the end we stayed there till 4am
then he walked me back to my room lor
i asked him give me morning call the next day hahaha
coz got morning lessons><

then next day he met bh for breakfast at around 10.30am
then finish liao he text me ask if i eaten
i was like 'haven't. waiting for you treat haha'
just kidding yo.
then he say 'ok. see you at 12.30 then!'
i stun sia HAHA
coz last night i told him i wanted eat can 1 de dessert
so he say go can 1 for lunch that day
so nice;) hahahaha

then he come my class there fetch me after class summore
then we walk to can 1
i say i dunno what i want to eat yet
he say he also dunno what is nice there
he only know the pizza nice
so i was trying to intro the food to him
i tell him the xiao long bao and ice cream nice
then he really go order xiao long bao and pizza
then we share. he bought drink for me also.

but i damn ps sia i spilled my drink halfway-.-
then he pour some of his into my cup sia haha ><

then after tt walk me back to hall again
reached my room i need to pass some stuff to friend
so he walk me to find my friend and then back to hall again
free or what sia LOL

then at night jio him watch movie on my com with me
after my exam supper la. supposed to end at 930 one.
But i forgot about all the cleaning up time.

I didn't eat dinner before tt so he wanted buy food for me
but in the end just buy bubble tea :D
then he wanted to fetch me at nanyang house summore
i was so surprised and quite touched
coz nanyang house is really quite out of the way eh><

but we ended super late so didnt let him come up
he met me halfway when i walk back
then walk back my hall tgt haha

then when walking back he ask if bh told me anything
Coz previously i asked bh if he is so nice to everyone haha
then bh say he is a nice guy in general esp we both bh friend
so he will nice to me so i didn't think too much lor.

so when he ask if bh told me anything i quite surprised.
apparently bh asked him about it as well LOL

then after tt he say bh asked him 我们有没有在一起 hahahaha
i was like 'REALLY?!'
then he say '如果我说我真的喜欢你,我们有没有在一起?'
I totally stone for a while
then he was like '要想这么久的啊?'
then i was like 'huh???你真的在问我啊??' then he say ya
LOL shock die me ><
i didn't really reply him coz cannot process hahahaha

after tt he was saying bh told him don't too nice until i misunderstand
but is not misunderstanding. he really like me haha
i totally just stone only hahaah
i mean...we only know for erm 2 days? ><
i don't even know him well and he also don't know me well.

Add all the time we spent together till now...hmm
I think about half a day ba. as in put altogether la.
Enough to like someone wor?
And he's evergreen eh, no gf before haha.

But i trust him because he's bh's bro LOL
More specifically, I trust bh.
That's why i'm okay with him haha.

Hmm but he isn't someone active on chat
as in like whatsapp etc haha
mostly i text him then he reply only -.-
a bit sianz

but just now i ask him is he nice to everyone
coz i asked bh before
then he say he told bh he cannot evaluate that
coz he cant say if he himself is nice anot
he think he is not a kind person hahaha
then i ask him how he want me to think
he just tell me 'just be who you are'
this is one line that i like. seriously haha.
it's important to me leh
must be yourself. lols
just now talk to him on fb then he also said tt again.
coz i scared i too noisy la talk too much disturb him or sth
then he say its ok just be yourself.
haha

Shuting say she approves of him liao sia LOL
the rest also all say he very nice
but all agree that need more time to see
because he really lightning speed
need to see how serious he is.
later he saysay only one week sianz liao
then very qian bian lols
so ya. see how.

Anyway i was talking about right or wrong
coz weiting ask if im despo lols
quite sad sia lols

I not despo lor><
I think everyone is different in the way they think
and they things they expect from themselves n others

for me...
i don't need a bf now.
I wasn't looking at all.
I did have a crush on zz but just crush nia nothing one.
I totally never expect anything from tt
just found him quite charming coz
he has a mind of his own and very decisive and
got the seh lor but just like tt only
><

this one also not i look one
i don't think it's wrong to consider it leh.
you never know which one is the right one
which one is the wrong one
and he's been really nice
if he is really serious
nothing wrong giving him a chance ma
he did leave a good impression on me
and he is nice n funny. and guai can study tgt.
quite my type also. nothing wrong what><

i don't think it's being despo eh
i don't mind being single.
i think single good leh freeeeee and easy. haha.

i just get attracted easily only.
as i said in front la.
fall in and out easily one. lols.

don't care. follow heart.^^

do you think he's serious?

Incoherent.

Seriously. Just incoherent.

I can't really think now even.
Don't know what to think.

I thought I could be okay with it
I thought I am okay with it
I thought it was nothing
since there weren't any expectations in the first place.

But...

smileeee

Ok

Today is a happy day LOL

Initially I was quite angry when I kana dao

BUT by the end of the day all become happyyyy liao haha

It was so funny sia

Wanted to go can A buy Mac for supper then we reached the can A overhead bridge hor then dunno how to go carpark LOL spent like 20 mins to find the way leh coz I went to surf net look for it HAHA it was just amusing. Was quite ps for the driver but HAHA damn fun.

Then spent a long time buying mac coz we order for like 10 ppl sia and there so long queue also!

By the end we reach school, like 1hr plus spent altogether LOL

Then eat Mac there talk a bit suddenly darrell jio wt caelyn go his room drink LOL then 801 ppl wan go back hall so left us only so might as well just zao. In the end all we did was eat Mac. Mission to study complete fail LOL

But still so happy.

Drive damn reckless one leh last warning hahahaah

Coz want to take phone then right hand reach for the seat to take phone then left left hand on steering wheel then car suddenly swerve to the left almost crash into kerb siaaaa hahahaah cua tio eh seriously haha. But quite fun as long as no crash haha.

One thing I noticed was 细心. Really obvious one.

Actually wanted to remember all the little details and post here but i forgot liao sia emo die.

I only remember like when I suggested carrying the two big packs of Mac food then he take the drinks coz i scared spill then he tried to carry the food first see heavy or not. Then after that he tried to take both the food and the drinks but I took it over coz food take with drinks later spoil the food. Got free hand help with drinks but he still took it. Rhesus so many gentlemen sia haha. But the other gentlemen also might not care about stuff like these. He does it naturally.

Got a lot of small areas that he damn careful one. Super take care of girls.

OH YA I REMEMBER ONE.

Coz we went back to the car after buying Mac then he realised left out one Mcflurry.

So he went back to ask for the ice cream while i wait on the car.

Then he remember to start the engine on aircon for me ehhh.

Ok la maybe not only he will but I was quite surprised coz really didn't expect that. He doesn't drive often anyway (not his car LOL) so shouldn't be so notice such stuff one right? LOL

anyway I was surprised la hahaahha.

Aiya anyway small things like that lor very 细心. Yupps. Just keeping a record :D

These guys in Rhesus they are all the look very paikia but actually damn nice type:)

They are not the nerd types who only care about studying yet they can be so serious about their studies when there is a need to. When need to, they mug a lot too. BUT play a lot too. Good balance kind of haha.

They may seem like bad guys like erm zz and ivan smoke they go clubbing quite often. Then almost all the guys drink....quite a lot. Now we girls also kana influenced keep go drink with them>< addictive seriously LOL but now seldom la.

Ya may be far from the ideal type parents like.

But they are the nicest guys I have ever met. Okay la maybe a little exaggerating but they are really nice.

They will disturb girls also but just for fun. They very 照顾 us one.

The most ah beng one. Nickname laoda. Is really very beng feel but yet most 细心。Ironical it may sound but true leh.

Sista and bh hor are nice to us they very gentlemen also but got diff one. Can tell. They try to be nice guys but they still feel a bit 'Huhh' sometimes.

But they won't leh. They really very nvm one, as long as we okay. Safe and well:) They don't express it as obviously but actions speak louder than words!

Lots of love to Rhesus as always:)

Another update

Alright.

So. Uni life.
Really really busy I would say.

But I starting to skip all the 8.30 lectures already.
Pointless to go la. I go there never listen one haha.
Either sleep or play game or make noise only.
Seriously so early eh how to focus.
Summore I haven't catch up with previous lectures
so dunno what prof talking.

Coz i writing my own notes, from first lecture.
So it's gonna take a while before I catch up.
Until then, I shall skip lectures.
Catch up finish actually also no need go.
That's what recorded lectures are for.
Can let me listen slowly at my own pace
and write my own notes properly....

Every night go mugging with rhesus:)
So awesome kx and zz always drive me down
and drive me back haha
They are so gentlemen you know
kx always make sure we enter the hall already
then they will leave.

Rhesus guys are mostly gentlemen la
all very nice guys I would say.
Always looking out for us girls.
The one I really appreciate is when we went club.
That once that I went club after spms bash.

We went rebel dance.
Honestly, I didn't notice it at all.
We were just high lor dancing to the music.
Having fun.
The guys were trying to circle us in.
After that then I realise.
They were trying to protect us:)
They kept all of us together in the circle the guys made.
To prevent external dirty hands from coming in.
So awesome of them.
They didn't have their share of fun
because they were busy taking care of us.
Making sure we were all safe and fine.
Awesome or awesome:)))

Anyway recently getting so huachi like omg la.
Up dunno how many lvl.
I never so huachi before...
suddenly max lvl eh. LOL.
Haiz I know I should control myself LOL.
But. I happy leh. :P
Just huachi only la actually nothing much>< hehe..
Something like change my wallpaper
change whatsapp wallpaper
change phone password
HAHA
totally dead if someone hack my phone.

Aiya but I just for fun only la.
To have something to smile about.
Something to keep me happy and upbeat yea?
Something to look forward to.
Like going to school on Tuesday when it's holiday.

Actually is want to meet tony to learn matlab
but the guys playing bball in the afternoon!!!!
hehe i go watch them lalala~
after that study
then at night learn matlab.
wednesday probably won't stay too late.
if not parents gonna complain again.

Anyway I love rhesus:)
Really. They are ALL so awesome people.
So nice and fun and caring and lots of <3 br="br" nbsp="nbsp"> Thanks for making my uni life fun:)

Superman-Edited

Superman by Joe Brooks is a nice song!! Go listen to it!!
I edited the lyrics of the song. Twice. Two versions.
As below:

1) Superman

There are no words
able to make me say for sure
Your eyes, that smile,
could they ever leave my world.

You walked my way
Oh god, I can't forget that
You're from a fairy tale
A dream come true
It makes me feel so small
Coz when you smiled at me
I can't believe
I could ever let you go

I thought you were my superman
Who would fly me to the stars and back again
Coz everytime you touch my hand
I feel your powers running through my vein

But I could only write this song
to tell me, I was just so wrongg
Coz you're no superman
I only saw that at the end.


Ok. likka emo lols. I don't really mean that all so literally la.
As in..I never did think of it as a superman thing.
I like it on a same level so don't misunderstand.
Just a version I wrote.

2) Superwoman

There are no lies
that I would ever tell you, girl
Your smile, that laugh
It's like my fairy godmother

You smiled my way
Oh god, it's just so pretty.
So when I jump in joy when you come near
I know I'll hug you tight
coz you are my best friend
For all my life, I got no doubts at all.

I could be your superwoman
Who would give you everything that no one can
Coz everytime you're by my side
I feel my powers running through your veins.

And I could only write this song
to tell you that you're never wrongg
Coz you're where my heart lies
I can call you darling all my life.

This version is dedicated to my darling. Kim Weiting my Sista JQ others in Rhesus my suaning clique and all my close friends including Mr Ang who helped me a lot through the last two years plus. Everyone who cared. Thanks a lot yea^^

The End.

It has reached the end of the story.
After so long.
The day has come after all.
The ending written by me.

I'm so sorry
so so sorry...
Sorry...

I just read your post...
And I'm really so sorry...
I really didn't have time previously to look at it.
So sorry...

I promised I won't cry..
but how can I not?
After reading your posts...
on the blog on Fb/Twitter...
Am I supposed to laugh?

Stand up again ok?

All the times together.
I really enjoyed them, I know you do too.
Whatever will happen in the future, no one knows.
No matter what it will be...
hold on okay?
Stand up strong...please.
Do me a favour and stand up strong.
I'll stop crying...but you should too...
Cry it through and stop. Smile. From the bottom of your heart.

Be fine. I wish for your happiness too..

Scar

It's something that I will bury deep in my mind, deep in my heart.
In the deepest corners.
It's not easily discovered...but.
It's not easily lost either.
It's always there. It will always be there.
Maybe no one can see it,
Maybe I can't see it sometimes too.
But it's always there.
It will not leave my mind..nor my heart.

That's a scar.
A scar I don't intend to let heal.
A scar that would be a permanent lesson.
A scar that I want to smile at in future.
A scar I would grow from.

:)

Deepest pit...

I know you think I'm wrong.
I know you think I am making a horrible choice.
I know you think I'm making excuses.
I know you think I'm selfish.

But you're not me. You're not in this situation.
You're not the one who's going to face everything.
It's easy to think, it's obvious to think that way.
I would too, if I were you.
But being in the situation itself...everything is different.
It's not easy to think from someone else's shoes,
especially in such situations.
And I don't blame you.
I am still really thankful for your help and your concern,
and sorry for adding to your stress and burdens in your life.
Forgive me for making this choice, but I don't have another choice.

It's something painful for me too...
That day, I cried so hard but somehow I got over it the next day.
Maybe I decided not to think about it anymore
since I have made my choice, and the other choice is not possible.
Maybe I was in denial.
But whatever it was, I got over it and was fine till today.
Till you talked to me about it...

Just now, I cried so hard in the office><
Luckily, my boss was out and he did not return to the office=/
Haiz, I know this decision is not right...
but it's the only thing I can do.

Thinking from all aspects,
I have to balance several things you know.
Some things are for LIFE.
It's not something you decide now and just get over it.
It's something you CAN'T get over.
So, I really cannot just think like you do...

And my parents are weighed pretty heavily in that decision.
I owe them too much...
I can't do this to them=/

I don't know if you will ever understand how I feel
or why I made this decision
or ever support me for it...
Since I know you will never be in the same situation as me.
You're not as dumb:)
But no matter what, thank you very much.
And I just hope you don't think too much too and get over it
Just...support me alright? Please?
That's all I need now...

And I really do feel very horrible about making the decision.
But as I said...I don't have another choice.
Try to understand that, yea?

Change

You. I thought you have changed.
But at those moments...I doubt it.
You seem just the same as before.
And that brings a smile to my face,
knowing that beneath all the changes you show,
there is still THAT you that I knew. :):)

You.
I wonder if you have changed.
It's been so long since we talked.
Even longer since we last met.
Whatever has happened has long past,
now you're just a long-lost friend.
Are you still the same you?

 You.
Actually, it hasn't been very long,
since we were last friends.
You changed your mind
and later on, me too.
How about now? Have you changed again?
I would think not.
I guess the time isn't long enough,
to wash anything away.
But hopefully, it will fade over time...
whatever it is...

You.
Ah, you. I know you've changed.
So much, indeed.
There's that part of you,
that still remained the same, of course.
But mostly, you are no longer the same.
It's not even exaggerating to say
 you've become a different person.
Because you don't even remember the past.
Yea, lots of changes over the years.
It's quite a sad thing.
You may have become better, which well,
is definitely a good thing.
But, it's sad to know
that friend of mine no longer exists anymore.

You.
You, have always been great.
To me and to many others.
Just, hope you change, to be better, to yourself.
You already smile a lot but how much to yourself?
How often do you tell yourself you're awesome?
How often do you tell yourself
that it doesn't matter what others say?
How often do you tell youself
that you don't need to change FOR others?
Be yourself, and love it!
 Always remain awesome alright, my dear friend.

You.
I always wanted you to change.
I mean, you are great, but no one is perfect.
And we always try to smoothen out each other's imperfections.
No matter what, I know you will become better
if you did change for the better. A bit 废话 but ya.
So, good luck!

You.
I hope you never change. Till now, you haven't.
Not from my perspective anyway.
And I really hope, things will NEVER change.
I doubt you will la actually...considering your ___. :P
ANW. May everything stay as it is, if not improve.
Cheers to the better times ahead!

 P.S. All para-s are referring to different people. Though they probably won't know which is them, or even if they are there or not. kekeke.

 AND CONGRATULATIONS TO MR AND MRS ANG FOR THE BIRTH OF NICHOLAS ANG!!:D:D:D I want be god-mother leh! LOLOL Oh and I hope he likes the cuteeee socks<3