我累了

It's been a really busy two weeks...
now then come blog.
well super busy lor
everyday very late come home de
first with leo the I&I
after that busy with pw.
then today i guess im resting haha
gotta start doing work le.
haiz.
lots to catch up on!

these 2 weeks ar
everyday damn late sleep leh
suuuper tired :(
chem lecture nvr survive awake before
today slept like around 30-40 mins LOL
on and off la
last 10 mins then awake and listen lols
but i could catch what was going on still la
thankfully
hahahaha
coz i woke up when cher ask us try a question
at the end of the lecture notes.
a very simple question la
can do la at least. im not totally lost.
i caught impt stuff k :P
tt's the gd thing about on and off sleeping :p
but then ar
maths lecture bad.
starting to sleep for maths lectures :(
seriously.
too tired la
esp coz is first few periods
i havent wake yet
after first few usu i can stay awake de
maths lecture thurs de is first period leh
sot ar
sure sleep ma
but maths worse than chem
i dunno what was taught.
erm ok la since it's mostly written there
but i didnt catch most of it
mr ang say the way mrs tan teach not very gd
coz not clear though
ying en veron they all listened
but also couldnt get it anyway -.-

haiz super tired!!!!
everytime so late come home le hor
and then want do work ma
and then will keep falling asleep at my desk.
lols. eyes auto shut down de lols
oh ya zhenyan told me a joke today.
she ask: what's the meaning of brain dead?
answer is: the left brain has nothing right
and the right brain has nothing left HAHA
well i found it funny hahahaha

ok talking about zhenyan
PW!
it sucks man.
i dunno where to start
i shall not describe la.
summary: nothing is going well.
im at a loas of how to continue.
i damn fail lor
the game i made dammmn fail
as a leader also so fail :(
haiz.
yepp tt's about it.

and my mum is seriously #)(%(@&%(*&$
haiz.
im like so super tired le leh
and she has to be like this.
so not understanding tsk.
she scolded me for coming home so late everyday
for these few weeks leh
wth lor
like i want la
i so late ar i ownself super tired
and not very catching up with work leh
make me want to try harder...
coz i scared.
im dropping again...
cant let that happen.
so though i come home late
and super tired
i still try to stay awake
fail la but still try ma
try to do as much work as i can...
and yet she said
i do so much work also nvr do well what
i was like speechless?!?!
wth
she so pro she go study la
always like tt
wan me do well
then this one cannot that one cannot.
wan do well need sacrifice a lot leh
yet she doesnt allow me to do anything.
go out study also might not let
wan so educational stuff or whatever also cannot
as long as need money or a lot of time etc
then cannot.
even if it helps.
ah whatever.

change change.

ms ang my new maths tutor!
our class combine with 29 and 31 ma
then band into 3 maths class.
ours is first one called "entusiastic"
SUPER dumb name HAHAHAHA
anyway
yea ms ang teach
coz we lagging behind quite a bit ma
so she's like bullet train now
DAMN fast...................
im not catching up well in my tutorials!
and there's so much more work to do...

this weekend.
tmr got csc talk at yishun jc.
need wake up so early!!!! :(
deprived of sleep le leh still like tt...
then need do...
chem benzenes tutorial
pw...EOM!!
and plan for written report liao :(
haiz. just the thought of pw irks me now.
maths...tutorial 21 and 20 poyo.
cll...hmm read up? nth much i think.
econs erm wait. got hw...errr oh ya
market structure issues tutorial ws...
csc well got shou ji from last term LOL
last term need 8 this semester need 10
total need 18 more term 2-4
but i only got like...3-4 now.
SO MUCH more to do.
but i have no inspiration at all..................
haha.

i shall try to be more cheerful nowadays hahaha
thurs ar
morning mum totally ruined my mood
before i left for sku
so i was in a dull mood
but as the day went on
i got better haha
mood improved.
i was all smiley and cheerful
all the way
until i got home.
and then it went to horrible.
it became worse than morning -.-
mum left harsh words behind
before she left with my dad go out
zzz gd. alone at home
can cry at ease
wanted to shout man
she's so unreasonable...
i've been working hard
and coming home late everyday
and draining myself
coz of sku
NOT PLAY
how can she scold me for no reason like tt...
ridiculous
but no matter what happens
she ALWAYS thinks she's right.
she always say i do wrong thing dun say sorry
but i have NVR heard her say a word of sorry...
NVR. seriously. not to me or dad anyway.
simeple reason.
she thinks she's ALWAYS right.
ah whatever.
i cant bring myself to burst her bubble...

now i shall just constantly tell myself
to smile and be happy :D:D:D:D
ignore her. haha...
wait for her go back normal
ignore all her hurting words...
i shall not hear them...listen but not hear...
i want to smile at every day
and start working.
and let jc pass soon.
and then hopefully get into a gd course in uni
and become an adult soon.
coz she told me im not yet 21
she still can interfere with me...

well.

yoz haha.
there was sth i wanted to talk about.
sth to grumble about.
but after thinking about it
forget it la im not writing about it le.
usual stuff after all.
nth interesting.
(:

thursday and fri
had rehearsals for I&I till pretty late~
so boring la~
i dun understand why leo club also need sth like tt
lols. but i like the hand signing~!
so fun hahahaha
will have another rehearsal on monday
and then thurs actual one. till 9+ leh sianz~
ytd after rehearsal.
me and char going out sku le
then at stage there
saw the titans ppl!
they doing log event.
then coz char is delta de
we got friends there ma
so we watched
the guys were at it at that time la.
and oh ya.
khoon hwa was there too haha.
haiyo he ar why can do everything de~?!?!
haha anyway~
they damn pro leh
it looked damn tiring la
the girls were gd also
there was one who wasnt as good though
the log keep slipping. almost.
too bad couldnt stay and watch the whole thing haha
but i took some photos
damn diff to take coz cant go near them
they surriounded the place le
and ppl were blocking me...
so only took faraway small photos...-.-

and i signed up for the electives le!
although i didnt get C and above for econs...
i still tried :D i signed up for game theory thing~
and also the songwriting :D
i hope i'll get in...............

thursday mrs tan told us our groupings after banding
for maths lesson.
the names are dumb x100000000 LOL
i wonder who came up with them la seriously...
enthusiastic, eager and ernest
LOL ?!?!??!
hahahaha
im in enthusiastic, under ms ang.
another ang LOL
tjc sooo many angs :P
hope she's nice
and gd in teaching etc
cher say she nice to bully -.-
ehhhh who knows?
maybe she curses him everyday at home HAHAHA

and oh
IM SO HAPPY I PASSED GP :D:D got 51%!
summore got top 50 in sku leh!!
:D:D surprised and very happy hahahahaaha
char also not bad she 48 i think.
kim damn pro!!!
AMAZING DE LOR :D
top in level!
~705 ppl leh!!!! she's the only one who got an A!
the A score like specially for her like tt lor
coz A score is 64.5-100
and she scored 64.5 LOL :D
damn pro damn pro :D
haha :P

yesterday and thursday ar
kailun was so annoying haha.
everyone complained LOL
due to exam results,
veron toned down for a while now almost normal le...
but kailun only got worse o.O
she nvr do very well
whole day talking about results
like to compare compare etc
and then talktalktalk but nvr do work
still dare say she previous night watched movie till 2am etc
lols so proud of it wor? -.-
she didnt do well generally
except for cll did pretty well
and econs. well not like suuuper well
but relatively good.
and she's proud of it.
like rly proud of it.
tt day we at good news.
i forgot what they were saying la
then elaine was like "yea so smart..." in chinese
then kailun say "还不错啦。。。”= "not bad la~"
grinning from ear to ear
i saw elaine made a face LOL
but seriously la... -.-
summore elaine they all did pretty badly leh..
tsktsktsk
she keeps going on about results
then that day ask us if we set goal le anot etc
not like she has one that she is working towards...
ah. whatever. dun care her la.
all the best to her -.-

oh yea i forgot to mention previously
wth lor my csc!
i was so angry at myself about it LOL
cher tt day haven give back papers
but he was going thru with us ma
we had to do 2 essay questions
1 from section A which had 2 questions
and 1 from section B which had another 2 questions
so i did question 1 and 4.
then he say for the first question
highest is 21, from 30/10
and yay! it's me~
i was surprised. lols.
yea. i got highest in cohort for that question.
but just that question -.-
then for question 4 range from 9-15 i think
and wow amazingly.
i got 9 -.-
wth???!?!?!
1 question i got first and i was so happy
the other i got last!!!??!?!?! WTH LOR!!!
zzzz i could have gotten gdddd results with my first score!
and i had to ruin it with my second score -.-
bully me sia>!!!
haiz.
wanshan topped the level (:
with 78% (:
she got highest for 2nd question and first few also for 4th question.
pro lor haha
but csc very unstable de la
u nvr know de
depends on the questions set...everything can change
so wanshan was saying she feel so stressed
now get A difficult to improve
and later drop then die etc lols
haiz. haiz.
i only needed 1 more mark to get C leh.
so sad la.
highest for one question yet i got a D! ;((((((((
HAAAIIIZZZZZ~

anyway...
these few days ar dunno y so tired la.
everytime come home cannot do much work de
fall asleep easily.
been sleeping early...meaning nth much done.
:(
ytd transfer things from old thumbdrive to new one
then while waiting i fell asleep
wake up then fell asleep
keep sleeping.
lols damn tttireddddd.
in the end i still about...12+ sleep.
today 12+ wake up hahahaha
damn tired lor dunno y
today read up on alkenes
but havent do tutorial yet
then come do CLL liao.
finishing!
and then need work on EoM
tmr going out~
for liheng's bdae lunch~tht cute boy hahahaha
1 yr old le! :D
mrs lim's new baobei hahahaha
i wonder when it will be mr ang's kid's turn HAHAHA

oh yea

oh yea forget add this.
my mum still so against cher la.
haiz.
i know she's just worrying
but she should learn to trust me once in a while
and trust cher too.

i feel bad to cher leh.
he's being so nice leh
and yet mum doubts him like tt.
it's so unfair...
haiz.

and YAY finally done my pw prototype!
let a few ppl try!
should be ok le :D heh~feel accomplished haha

SOO LONG!

It's been so long since i've posted here, eh?
It's been long since mr ang posted on his blog too haha :D
guess everyone's busier, eh?

anyway
i had LOTS like LOTS to say
since it's been real long.
but now i shall just summarise hols part la.
well i did study.
but i slacked quite a bit too.
ok. quite a lot.
so. basically i was totally unprepared for the exams.
hence the results.

till now,
gotten back...
maths- 70%
chem-45%
cll-59%
yepp tt's about all...i think.
will get back econs and csc tmr
and gp on thursday.

well. haiz.
ok. econs.
i have no confidence of getting even 10%
seriously. or at most 15%. nothing more.
no exaggeration involved at all.
they dun quite believe me la.
but then.
cher's been going thru the essay answers these few days
haven finish but i looked at it already.
hence i know what i wrote and i know where i stand.
haiz.
i feel like saying some stuff
some usual stuff i would have said
but i noe i shouldnt
i have no right to anyway.
my fault totally.
i didnt prepare for econs.
almost totally didnt.
least i studied for was csc followed by econs.
well i studied first few chapters quite well though
esp elasticity.
i didnt touch GI at all
and everything about GI came out -.-
regret.

last tuesday talked to mr ang ma
and well of coz he was disappointed with my results
particularly maths.
many tot my score was not bad le
but im not satisfied with it either.
i lost a lot of marks that i did not have to.
a lot.
cher say mrs tan also disappointed wor :X
argh.
im really so sorry.
i failed myself too.
hence, i was so motivated that day haha.
this is the first time i felt so motivated...
and i got a feeling i will work hard this time.

and i did study that day
and for the rest of last week
i didnt even watch 宫心计 which was sth sort of must-watch de haha
last week i completed tutorials 16-18
and then i realised veron also finished tutorial 18.
argh cannot!!!
i must do more!!!

and then it was the weekends
haiz.
i dunno why but i was damn tired on sat
so i didnt do much work.
just did 2 csc articles and prepared for cll lesson
and a bit of maths
and then i fell asleep lols
i slacked thru the whole night man.
damn damn.
dad asked me go sing ma :X haha.
so i sang k at home for like 3 hrs -.-
lols.
then sunday
pw meeting.
we did work!
well we almost finished out storyboard
and i did almost half of the prototype of our game le.
used a lot anime elements
love it man :D
had been working on it this afternoon
before i come here post this too...
anyway then after that
my mum dun let me on com after dinner
so i couldnt continue doing...

she totally dun believe i will work hard leh.
tt is so demoralising.
she totally dun trust me
but i dun blame her la
coz i dun rly deserve her trust yet
to her la anyway
coz she always catch me slacking
she caught me watching show ytd lols.
but i was just resting a bit ma :X
she nvr sees me studying.
last week i study so much she everyday 11pm come home -.-
aiya anyway she totally dun believe me.

sunday night she took my ipod away to play
dun let me watch show ma.
then i felt so super guilty for slacking
so i did maths.
did tutorial 18 poyo and then read up on maths
finished reading parametric curve chapter
and then started on tutorial 19 lor
but i dunno how do some.
everytime i stuck on a question
i will keep thinking keep thinking.
and then usually i'll stop doing my work soon -.-
anyway then i do until 12+
mum scold le so i went sleep lor.

today school
ying en veron wanshan both watched world cup ytd sia
hahahaha then well they slept so little
poor thing :P
mr ang too HAHAHA
cher's beloved holland lost!
LOL
most people i asked is support spain de
so they were relatively happy haha
well shermaine also watched world cup ytd
and she loves holland apparently.
haha
awww its just world cup!
they will have another chance 4 yrs later HAHAHA
aiya at least get second ma! not bad le! :D
i nvr watched world cup o.O
if i had a chance i would actually
but my parents dun watch
so i nvr did.
i wont be allowed to stay up to watch it definitely
and i dunno any team so whatever
just listen to them talk about it haha
quite entertaining. :P

oh yea back to school stuff.
khoon hwa is so damn smart
haiz
im not interested in him that way lor
but he's just damn......pro.
very hardworking.
he's becoming my idol HAHAHA
it's like seriously
a role model to me maybe?
hmm he did so well this time!

he joins mazarin programmes and participates actively
in almost everything leh.
he is involved in the yunnan outreach program
and he joined titans even.
and he's from wushu gd in sports and academics
and a nice person too
who's willing to contribute to the society.
im sure he will be willing to donate blood during
the blood donation thing at the end of this month
unlike some ppl :P
well i wont donate either coz im scared. haha.
imagine seeing 450ml of blood sucked out of you
and that needle.
no way.
haha not that i not willing.
if im more brave some day, i will.
but im from leo.
im afraid....oh please. dun force us to donate.............

anyway back to khoon hwa.
im amazed la
mazarin + outreach + titans
and yet he can study so much
he reached maclaurins and integration like 3 weeks ago????
siao de!!!! amazing..
im seriously awed and amazed haha.
and ppl might think hes a mugger with no life
but yet he likes SNSD and i THINK he quite follow their news ba?
he like seohyun from SNSD i think
coz keep see her name on his fb.
seriously
how does he manage his time?!?!?!?

his jcts ar
according to mr ang
physics top leh 87 marks
maths 85%
chem dunno how much
but he passed even without adding section B...zzzzzz haiz.
charlynn maths won him by 1.25% only haha
charlynn also did very well this time.
as usual.
she come here she may not be the top anymore
but she's still doing well.
she's ALMOST my idol too
other than the fact that she's dumb in common sense stuff HAHA :P
her chem ar...haiz. she got 45 marks without adding section B!
i total only 45 lor. 1 mark went to wrong significant figures -.-

haiz
those ppl...
nday
they came my house again ma
i was bragging LOL
not about me.
but about khoon hwa HAHAHAHA
not rly bragging la
just telling them how pro he is.
they were amazed too
i showed them his fb page and photos
hahahahahaha :PP

ahhhh anyway must work hard!!!
i MUST work hard!
today in school
i was talking to ying en
telling her i rly wanna mug liao.
i told her
i used to be in a science class
i used to be gd.
i used to be in top 10 even in science class
even in the top few classes.
i used to be in top 100 in school.
not very high position but at least always top 100 la.
now....haiz.
wth is this kind of results???
esp econs.....................
hence
i
have
to
buck
up.
i
know.
honestly.
i dun wan disappoint anyone again.
it felt really bad.
really bad.
but then.
ytd i was thinking.
now i study coz i know i should
i have to.
its like im forcing myself to study u know...
it doesnt help me to focus entirely at all
my brain easily drifts
ok. not really drift
just that i keep telling myself i must study :X
it will have effect still
but it wont have the best effect definitely.
best would be if im studying coz i like it
or just coz i want to.
more of a WANT then a MUST.
tt would be really gd.
i dunno what i should do too.
how should i achieve that?
anyone enlighten me? i'll think about it too...

PW.
our gpp havent exactly been approved
but cher say most probably can. no big prob
tt's y we started on it ma
now we're progressing rly well.
almost half done le leh
we're doing so great :D:D
haha im so happy la
BUT THEN
now got new individual task!
need do EoM sia
evaluation of materials
INDIVIDUAL!! ARGH :(
waste of time la
sure need spend so much time on it again.

and today got an email from sku.
econs lecture tt time also was mentioned
about elective programmes in term 3!!!!
so cool leh hahaha
i wan join!
i wanted join songwriting
but i realised need write melody.
i can't
so...forget it.
im considering about
"Entrepeneurial marketing"
"Get Connected"
and "Creative Problem Solving"
can put 2 choices and 1 will be selected.
well i think is creative problem solving
clashes with my lessons
dun think can skip lessons
so probably wont go for that.
but...
should i even apply?
i think it's interesting
and useful.
rly nice programmes.
but then.
would it be better to use the time on studying?
i have no idea...
haiz. have to consider.........