my dad rly makes me hate him leh sometimes...
but then...wad can i do..
complain in my blog de so here forget it.
lazy repeat grumbles.
incident not impt.
lazy say also...

juz tt i realised i didnt update what happened to andrew.
so here i am.
well tt time ask him.
i say i know he doesnt like me tt way
ask him why still bother wasting time on me.
he juz giv me a diao leh!! wth...
whole day only know how to say diao only..
since tt day i nvr rly bothered abt him le.
who cares la.
he once in a few days will still msg me.
but very little le.
phew. thankfully.
i dun lyk being played arnd. who does?
yea lor. lyk tt lor. he better shoo further away.
irritated by him la tt time.
wth...juz a diao leh -.-

updates ^^

he asked me to be his wor
haha but i avoided it somehow...again
but he calls me dear.
and he is still as usual all the muacks~
of coz i return the muacks la..
so the prob is...what are we? haha
i honestly have no idea
nvm la...although it's not very gd to remain lyk tt
but...then..but then..
if with him i muz prepare myself
for the day when he found someone new
or get sick of me leh...
tt's quite...lols so eh...i dun rly wan haha

anyway...forget abt tt.
juz now talked to shuting on the phone for damn long
till dad keep scolding me.
he's in a bad mood recently again
very very irritating...
well shuting n me talked abt quite some stuff
mostly gossips la.
but then not tt type lyk...say abt others ba?
hmm hav la but not very...gossipy haha
juz analysing i guess?
and she heard a lot gossips from others b4
so i ask her tell me lor xD
got about me de...

haiz...well...
it's no surprise AT ALL leh..
usual stuff ^^
since pri sku already lyk tt le
so ehh im not happy abt it of coz
but not rly sad or angry ba...
mainly two things la
1) ms chan's lessons...
shuting say she used to find me irritating for this too
but...why~~~im lyk tt de ma...
what's wrong with shouting answers to teacher's question
and asking her questions?
but coz ms chan always say stuff lyk
me n char are her fav students etc ar...
im even more hated -.-
but well i know abt this de la~
zzz now i dun do tt le...not much le la anyway...

2) they say i complain abt tests/exams being difficult
or that my results are bad even though i scored better than them
la~~~~wth la~
to them it might be gd
but I FIND IT BAD.
REALLY BAD.
what's wrong with that.
someone tell me.
some ppl might say i shld not hav said so loudly...
but MY VOICE IS VERY LOUD DE MA~~
what u wan me do..
tok to frens also need whisper wor?
so totally no freedom wor?
haiz...

why ppl actually go waste time n effort to hate ppl?
i dun tend to hate ppl...
maybe i used to. but now i dun.
but i used to sociable.
now im not. totally not.
i feel anti social actually haha
haiya...dunno la...time does change ppl doesnt it? ^^
well...the only thing i can do is overlook these
and continue as usual lo.

sometimes i really wan tell them ar
if they got anything they dun lyk abt me
plz tell me rigt straight to my face
not behind my back.
not because i dun lyk ppl to gossip abt me
it's juz tt
I WAN TO KNOW!
i wan to know what ppl think of me. and why.
i wan to know who dislike me. and why.
i wan to know who finds me irritating. and why.
if possible. i would change. i rly would...i had..
i had changed lor...
but i prefer last time de me...
more sociable etc...
because pri 5 n 6 that time
most of the classmates dun lyk me
so well i become less n less sociable
and then i only stick to my clique
anyone outside of my clique....well..
i dunno them well
seldom tok to them...

anti social huh?
whateva la...

haiz

feel lyk telling him i miss him but...

cant bear it de..

i dunno la
but i dun think i cant bear him leaving yet...

coz heart is sorta empty...
lonely...
so i dun wanna let him go...yet
but tt's irresponsible and...very bad leh..
coz it's him so it's very bad lols
any rlship wont be normal wif him lo haha

juz now ask him what am i
he say ai ren lols
then i was lyk...when did i agree to tt...
but i didnt reject him directly...
aiya so is didnt rly reject la...
but i didnt agree either laaaaaaaa
dilemma
it's something tt wont last...
i hate it. i hate knowing tt it'll not last.
tt's y i dun wan to start...coz i know it wont last...
so why start rite?
but then...how leh
well currently still ok la
juz hope nth much happened le la

juz cant bear it when he ignores me..
even for a while...always worrying when he will be sick of me...
only 5th day since i know him leh..
and im already so affected by him already...how?
keep thinking of him wor haha
but well tt's coz as i said...i hav no one to think of le ma..
empty.
so once he entered my life...
juz as a fren...
somehow even though i know he's not tt nice but...
well he's not chased away la haha

now nth la so erm...see how it goes ba...^^

Another one...

A lot of online friends le sia
a bit...luan xP
no la as in sometimes tok to 1
then forgot tok to the other 1
haha but then tt's not the pt...

andrew goh.
21.
currently in NS.
coming out in april 2010.
1st toked to me on sunday, 30 aug.
1st day only already flirted -.-

the thing is i know he's not tt type of...
gd guy haha. as in all he think abt is...well...sth la.
but then i dun wan ignore him.
dun wan him ignore me either.
thing is I KNOW that he's not someone i should mix wif much
im not dumb la. im not some innocent dumb kid xP
juz tt. it doesnt rly help. xP
i wont so anything stupid juz tt...
juz wan something normal...
but looks lyk it's impossible de la.
since it's impossible...i rly shldnt go further ba?
lols how? dunno
think he wil get bored and find someone else soon anyway xD
so erm i'll wait for tt. actually although only 4th day
i think he already quite sianz xP

im always such a boring person.
sianz.
with who also lyk tt.
today go lunchw if jos.
she suddenly nth to tok today
weird haha.
but i also nth to say
juz tt it's usual.
i always nth to say de la no matter wif hu...
dunno y..
juz hear them say only
i dun say anything...
things lyk THIS ar i cant tell anybody.
so well write here lo.
no choice...bo bian.. xP

haiya i feel lyk im exaggerating things leh actually...
coz i dun think anything would happen la...
juz tt i scared...scared sink too deep
haven la but erm juz a LITTLE bit worried xP
haha...
and coz we're juz frens ma...
so he keep saying stuff ar it's a bit weird
since im not his gf what...
(i dun think i should be anyway)
but then i dun show much distaste to it when he says de.
if not scared he rly angry or sianz then dun tok to me le ma..
but then...
cant tok lyk normal de meh
~~~~~~~~~
seems lyk he cant...
anyway lyk tt lo...see how everything goes ba~

boring~~

Im a boring person. i know (: heez

Haiz what to do?
what to do wif him...
i rly dunno...
he dun even come tok to me on msn le.
i dun dare tok to him either...
how tell him tt i wan let go of my balloon le...
dun dare sia...
but delay so long le leh...
almost 2 weeks le...
HOWWWWWW

T.T

I REALLY DUNNO WHAT TO DO LA
HOWHOWHOW
HAIZ
FEEL LYK SCREAMING BANGING SHOUTING
CRYING

DUNNO DUNNO DUNNO
FEEL LYK ESCAPING
DUN WAN THINK ANYMORE
BUT CANNOT KEEP AVOIDING MA
AVOID SO LONG LE.

SUDDENLY MADE TO FACE IT STRAIGHT.
TOUGH SIA.
HOW
WHAT TO DO
SOMEONE HELP ME
HAIZ

friends?

No hidden meaning intended
but...if we eva broke up....
i think we'll be gd frens lor
lyk last time lyk tt...
think we very suited for gd frens actually haha
but more than that?
maybe can =D hope so...
but im not sure..

he forgot

Oh yea he actually forgot
who cares rite? juz a date wad
no big deal. so wad if he forgot?
well i reminded him agn la
so he BETTER remember it le lols =P
tot i will angry la but dunno why
i wasnt angry when he said he forgot lols

last few days keep thinking abt stuff la
lyk how serious he is n how serious i shld be n stuff
but then...dunno la.
scared he not serious leh.
coz i rmb ar tt time quite some time ago
i asked him why he like me
he say coz is puppy love so he dunno -.-
so tt make me SOO insecure can
wth. puppy love. haha. im a puppy..=P
k tt's not the point haha
aiya duno la asked bel. she say dun think too much
im trying (: already not thinking much le (:
i think im juz expecting TOO much la lols
so yea i shld juz put down my expectations
and let this continue.
plan a gd outing
study wif them
score well for o lvls
get into a GD jc
then yea lead my life properly...
i hope i can...

a non-sad one ba haha

Today(4/1/09) hor very unlucky...
afternoon went downstairs buy lunch
coz mum busy with the spring cleaning la
then i didnt bring umbrella
it started raining when i went down
so i go up take again lor then rain stopped -.-
zzz lols then after tt i walked there
the rain come again -.- lols
but in the end i didnt use my umbrella...
shldnt have gone up la... anyway hor
i go the chicken rice stall dammn long queue la
but still i queued lor lols coz they very fast de
i was lyk 17th in queue i think...
ok tt's not the pt -.- then halfway thru hor
my stomach suddenly suuuppper pain
very uncomfortable la... then i leaned on
my umbrella coz if squat down or wad
then very weird ma...was considering whether
i shld leave the queue to go toilet or
go take a chair rest a while or continue queuing
well haven rly decided la then hor
started feeling nauseous and i vomited there
very little bit only la but then hor
i was totally ignored by everyone haha
think they didnt rly see ba if not then
they dun bother coz rly very little nia
but very horrible jiu shi le...
then the pain disappeared a bit tenny weeny bit
then my vision started blurring! T.T
was a bit shocked suddenly everything was blurblur de
then got a few stars here and there la and then
my face started getting cold very weird feeling...
think got cold sweat ba then after tt vision got worse
lots and lots of stars appeared so beautiful scene
if i didnt know tt i will be fainting soon haha anyway
in the end i couldnt even see ppl's faces la...
can only see outlines but no features
the face replaced by stars ma lols then
i still didnt wan to leave the queue
coz i was the 5th one le leh i think haha
so i called my mum lor in case i rly fainted
then at least she knows she call me sit down
then fine la i left the queue and sat down...=.=
and then she say she'll come down la
i rubrubrub my forehead while sitting down
and my vision slowly recovered...
stomach de pain already better le la
then when rly reaching my turn le hor
the person who was standing behind me
ask me wan buy anot then he let me back
into the queue think he could tell
i wasnt feeling well ba yea thx to him
i didnt hav to re-queue =P
my mum took so long to come down la -.-
by the time she come down ar
my vision fully recovered liao lor
then she was scolding me say might as well
she buy lunch can le lyk tt so troublesome
coz in the end we both went down lols
then went home rest then eat lunch etc
finally feeling much better le lols
yepp end of my story wad an experience...
lols ok *turn back time*

DEC 19 after cca, my mum call me
ask whether i wan go fahrenheit concert anot
lols my cousin got extra ticket la
then i say wan so she call me hurry
coz they fetching me at 7 concert starts at 8
yea so go home hurry bathe and eat then go concert!!
IT WAS FAB LA!! haha didnt rly see their faces though
sad rite...lols got a 16yrs old'08 girl hor
went up stage leh think got wad competition won de ba
her bdae close ma so they sang happy bdae song for her
and all the dec babies there lols then
they also sang 'ai dao' wif her!
she held hands wif all of them i think then aaron HUGGED her
haha yilin sure jealous haha =D
yea overall the concert was great calvin do beatbox..
aaron piano wif liu li yang (tiamo) wuzun drums...
dadong guitar =D all quite cool yepp sad la
forgot bring camera T.T but my cousin got take
and she sent me most of the photos le =D
i lazy to post so yea shall not haha

then days after tt it was on a saturday...
mum got work ma so left me at home so of coz,
i played com la -.- dad came home say i didnt do work
keep play com so hor when i go refill bottle ar
he go off my com so i was angry la on verge of tears
so i shut myself in my room(didnt lock la)
and cried inside lor... first time i ever shut myself in haha
then he crazy de la go take scissors hor
cut my computer cable off leh!!
zzz so irritating la crazy de tt time haven do my cmap yet
so i couldnt do la without com he didnt think b4 he act de lor
wan me do work so he cut de leh then he cut le
the more i cant do.. he could hav juz cut internet cable ma
but didnt tell him...dun wan giv him idea then
i didnt tok to him from then he cut it in a pique of anger de la
coz he next day go buy new one fix back le
HAHA so lame rite -.- tt's why i say he dun think b4 acting de
super diao la then he go back to normal
i also go back normal le..continue playing haha =P
at least i got do cmap ma

haha next on my list is....oh ya I wan buy new clothes!!
this yr hols spend most de lor i bought a lot of stuff on9
esp accessories got some of them le
but not all yet and i wan buy clothes!!! =D=D
tt day my mum went out wif her frens
go downstairs nia la...got pasar malam
then she suddenly call home call me go down lols
wan call me try on clothes!! =D so i did la
and so happy can haha in the end i bought 3 things
a white half cardigan
a long yellow shirt dress and
a black 3/4 skinny jeans! thx to my mum's frens'
and shop owner's intro then can buy la if not
if only my mum decide sure wont be able to buy
haha but anyway i love the clothes!
lols yea then next day nite got
wedding dinner to attend so
i borrowed my aunt's long dress black de
got pattern de quite nice to me haha...
quite some time since i wore long dress le lor
haha my wardrobe dun have dress de
lols supposed to wear scarf wif it
but since bought cardigan then
i wore cardigan wif the dress la
the wedding dinner was fine
didnt know the bride/bridegroom lols
then when ending hor i got to try the red wine sia!!
lols not bad leh =D took 2 sips only
not allowed more le ma lols
though i wanted it was rly...
quite nice..bitter + a bit sweet,
very special taste...

kk next thing....hmm...
thruout whole hols ar CO so busy la
preparing for concert ma then
finally it was concert day!! =D=D
it was fantastic la =D=D i reached sku at 10+
although supposed to meet at 11 de
lols so juz slack around la then 11+
we helped to move the instruments
mostly percussion de downstairs
coz need put on lorry to bring to
singapore conference hall ma
ours de smaller ones then ownself take
reached there ar we changed
into our syf costumes...the toilet so small -.-
only 2 cubicles sia haha anyway
then we prac a little bit b4
doing the actual rehearsal very fun leh backstage
haha quite fooled around there to pass time haha
all very happy and excited ma
then dinner had mixed veg rice delivered by
our cher personally from sku hostel prepare de i think..
then after tt actual concert starting!!
jewel ar (crazy junior) keep say she very nervous
then make us all very nervous also -.-
haha i after tt super scared de la then
went on stage le hor keep breathe in and out
haha i looked at audience ma
see quite a lot of ppl not full la but got 3/4 ba i think
searching for my mum and cousin
but they haven come.. saw a lot of ppl i noe leh
even scarier la!! lols got a lot of chers as well
then mum and cousin finally came then hor
emcee started talking say wan welcome our
guest-of-honour: DR BOON! HAHA
i was lyk...why invite her? lols so diao
tot she dun lyk CO de? -.- then she come in le hor
got some ppl go shout: "CHIO BU!" LOL
i was telling my junior tt they very sarcastic haha =P
well then the first half of the concert was
GREAT, FAB, WONDERFUL although
i was super nervous la lols after 3 songs
then we went backstage then is the
plucked strings' song 'mista' then is
guzheng's solo (percussion accompany)
then is percussion turn then intermission
then my erhu senior solo with piano accompaniment
then is cello and double bass + piano acc
then all went on stage again
by then ar i totally NOT nervous le
but then is NOT a gd thing can -.-
dunno why la not nervous ar i played worse than b4 la
zzz so angry wif myself T.T
made quite a few mistakes leh
first 3 songs ar b4 intermission de was so gd la no mistakes
last 4 was not as gd to me la at least
then after tt someone from CO
presented flowers and a full-body 'portrait' to our conductor.
the portrait so cute haha then
he go shake it to the audience so funny la
then got ppl shout encore lols then
we played part of our first song lor tt was quite gd lols =D
a lot of ppl say tt song was the best among all 7 lols...
though i dun think so haha dunno why tt one nice to them..
lols anyway after the concert ppl going off le
then we cheered on stage
the leejing had a forfeit to do haha
she hugged jinjia(alumni) lols
then packed up at backstage lor
after tt jazz who is my senior cum alumni of CO
cum jewel's sis call us out she gave me and jewel
a small bouquet of flowers each(hers bigger haha)
and another one to pass to wenxin, my current junior.
coz wenxin is her cousin lols very complicated hor haha
i was so surprised haha she gib sis and cousin ok ar
didnt expect her to gib me as well lols thx a lot dear senior =D
yea so the concert ended well lor
after tt ar the bus which is supposed to bring us back to sku hor
so long nvr start la -.- bus driver dunno go whr sia
aircon also didnt on leh then sooo super stuffy can -.-
after sooo long then depart lols
helped carry instruments back to CO room
then father fetched me home reached home at 11+
saw yujun's parents juz going to fetch her lols so late lor....
my mum didnt say anything abt the concert tt nite lols
lyk she didnt watch lyk tt lor -.-

then few days later went out wif my cousin
then they say they lyk the first song best lols
as i said many lyk tt song -.- then VERY FUNNY LA
they say very weird why got ppl shout
when dr boon come then dunno wad they shouting haha
they didnt know wad chiobu means sia isnt it hokkien?
not meh? lols then they also dunno wad encore means
haha so weird la... it seems kinda natural lor
also dunno whr i learn chiobu from de
haha anyway jiu shi hen weird lor
yea end of concert next thing!!

1st jan!! me and mum went temple
i wore super casual slippers lyk go beach lyk tt la -.-
then afternoon aunt suddenly say wan go shopping directly leh
den juz call dad bring shirt for me forgot bring slippers to change
lols then i juz wore tt out lor haha
anyway 4 gals + my dad went orchard!!
me, my mum, my aunt and cousin
dad generally is be chauffeur de la
coz all gals stuff ma so he juz walkwalk wif us nia
didnt buy anything anyway
we went robinson first coz mum wan change
bedsheet she bought a week agn or so
then we walked to far east plaza!!
SO NICE TO SHOP!! haha
it was my best shopping spree ever
first time my mum sooo willing to buy!
haha so happy la bought
3 pairs of shoes and a long shirt + a metal chain belt
i wanted tt kind of shoes quite long le
coz my leg the front part very wide ma
diff to find fitting shoes esp tt type de..
those in front wrap de then
behind raised de only understand?
haha anyway bought 2 of those and
one more similar de but infront sharper
and is highheels de yea so ya three pairs =D
plus the clothes bought previously ar got 2 sets
not a lot actually but not bad la very happy le
coz all very ex haha =P i also bought a
red checkered bf tee in bugis long b4 this
so yea got 3 sets lor missing a shorts only yea
haha love far east la the clothes all so nice
o ya we wanted to pick a dress de my cousin got buy one..
but then hor i too fat la stomach will show
HAHA so ya not nice leh
so didnt buy sad...so anyway hor
since tt day on i decided on a new yr resolution:
TO SLIM DOWN!! =D lols my b.m.i.
used to be about 15+ to 16 de leh
now 18+ to 19 le sia!
SO big diff from sec 1 till now
nono muz let it drop back!
at least reach 16+ to 17 lyk tt ma...
yea so every nite b4 i sleep
i will do situps haha and
im tryin to eat less fatty food
haha at the same time can save money ma
eating less i mean lols and then
slim le can go buy dress le!!
haha i wan add a dress to my wardrobe leh!

heez this will bring us to my next topic! 2009!!

heez IM SEC 4 LE SIA
till feel very weird sia sec 4...
hm...dun feel lyk it leh ewk...
sec 4...o lvls..studies...chionging ewkewkewk
sianz sia and then i feel lyk half sec 3 half sec 4 still
haha dunno why dun feel lyk either but well
4J is stlll as gd as 3J loved 3J still do
haha hope 4J will be even better!! =D
o ya now ar form teacher is mrs ganesan
mr mok teach emaths.. hcl dunno is czh agn
then pe cher is mr tan and then....erm...
history and ss i dunno is who teach yet
physics is mr joseph tham chem and bio remained!!
=D=D yay!! ms chan agn!! yippeeee
haha i dunno why so happy la
i juz dunno any other gd chem teacher
dun wan take risk ms chan is gd enuf
i dun wan change haha yea and 4J itself..
new monitor is xuanjie! mew monitress is suan ching!
but suanching dun rly wan so she on trial period...
2 weeks see can cope anot if cannot then repick lor
hope can pick class com agn sia i wan!! =D haha
i wan be treasurer de but since no cca pts ar
i dun wan le i wan be rep...still deciding which rep to be
heez if mr jimmy tan is our cher i sure be physics rep
but then he's not lols so yea i muz consider haha
i wan to be busy leh haha well we'll see how it goes la...

hmm next thing new yr resolutions!
1) to score well enuf to get into tjc!!
2) erm get 100 hrs of CIP hours...T.T
3) to slim down~~muz be below 43kg at the end of this yr!
now is 44 actually lols so ya is juz to maintain and slim a bit la
coz i dun wan it to rise can le ma haha
4) to work hard as a senior and a CO member!
help CO achieve gold in SYF!!
by teaching juniors and learning well myself lor

yea 4 is enuf haha all not easy leh
zzzz jiayouus to myself lols wad are u guys de recolutions?
tell me tell me haha anyway ar
wadeva they are jiayouus in achieving them too =D