My mum is still in that horrible mood can u believe it?
zzz
actually
in fact
she's getting worse
keep getting angry at nth la
everytime i gd mood then she has to come and spoil it
not easy for me to be in gd mood at home de leh!
and she just has to spoil it
haiz
char and meixuan are rather close now
im still jealous
and upset
not bcoz she doesnt treat me lyk a best fren lyk i do
is coz im losing my only best fren
and im juz upset for myself...
(did i mention here b4?)
she's my only best fren in class
but well she is one to me
and im not one to her
it makes me feel unwanted
i dun hav a sense of belonging at home
and now im losing that sense in 3J
one day i will lose that sense to the world
horrible...isnt it
getting too emo is horrible
music cheers me up ^^ as usual
now listening to the playlists for newmoon le
finished twilight de!
^^
anyone interested can go
www.stepheniemeyer.com
and go find the playlists to the books ^^
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
haiz
my mum always so bad mood de...
ytd went wedding dinner then come home le
she talking to my aunt ma then she toktoktok and then she say my leg very big (dun laugh!)
lols anyway the pt is i dun wanna hear her tok abt tt AGAIN
so i walked away
then she say "see la so fast angry agn le!"
but i wasnt angry
I REALLY WASNT ANGRY
i rly wasnt
rly wasnt...
then SHE bad mood le! haiz
i dun get it la
shldnt i be the one upset? why become she angry?
and why is she angry in the first place?
she keep saying my bad pts to others de lor!
summore say in frnt of me?
can't she think more of my feelings?
and the worst thing is
i am NEVER allowed to hav my own emotions
or at least not supposed to express them at all with them arnd
haiz...
everytime i get irritated with their nagging
im not rly angry or wad just...u cant expect me to smile still rite
then they will scold me for getting 'angry'
they always lyk tt de
i cannot be upset wor?
i also hav sad times de ma and angry times la
they both got bad tempers de and SO DO I
but they can get angry whenever they wan and keep nag and scold
I CANNOT EVEN EXPRESS IT
LIFE IS TOTALLY UNFAIR
whr did the saying of making frens with ur children/parents come from?
they whole day use their authority of parents de~
T.T
then now hav to tolerate my mum's temper agn while i cannot
CANNOT (muz remind myself)
flare up
if not things will get worse
im always the one tolerating
why?? T.T haiz no choice la~
aiya dun wan say them le...
ytd went wedding dinner then it was special sia!!
b4 the waitors came in, they played 'accidentally in love'!!
then the waitors and waitresses hooked arms and 'danced' in!! so cool!!
lols it was cute and quite fun to see haha
then after that the bridesgroom had to read a 'love letter' to the bride!!! (sabo-ed by frens)
then he further sabo-ed by everyone and had to kneel down while reading haha
then after that the emcee tell us to keep clapping
while we clap, the couple gonna french kiss!
the longer we clap the longer they kiss! haha it was quite funny
they stopped b4 we did obviously coz cant not enuf breath haha
it was unique sia very special ^^
then the bride looked rly rly blessed and happy ytd
it make me rly...i dunno how to say
just tot abt myself haha =P (no laughing)
i was thinking will i ever be there one day
will anyone even lyk me lor...
lols a bit childish? lame? anyway no laughing
coz she looked rly happy so these just popped up ma =P
it was rl nice to see them get married!
the day will come to everyone rite? ^^
hehe long way to go~haha
ytd went wedding dinner then come home le
she talking to my aunt ma then she toktoktok and then she say my leg very big (dun laugh!)
lols anyway the pt is i dun wanna hear her tok abt tt AGAIN
so i walked away
then she say "see la so fast angry agn le!"
but i wasnt angry
I REALLY WASNT ANGRY
i rly wasnt
rly wasnt...
then SHE bad mood le! haiz
i dun get it la
shldnt i be the one upset? why become she angry?
and why is she angry in the first place?
she keep saying my bad pts to others de lor!
summore say in frnt of me?
can't she think more of my feelings?
and the worst thing is
i am NEVER allowed to hav my own emotions
or at least not supposed to express them at all with them arnd
haiz...
everytime i get irritated with their nagging
im not rly angry or wad just...u cant expect me to smile still rite
then they will scold me for getting 'angry'
they always lyk tt de
i cannot be upset wor?
i also hav sad times de ma and angry times la
they both got bad tempers de and SO DO I
but they can get angry whenever they wan and keep nag and scold
I CANNOT EVEN EXPRESS IT
LIFE IS TOTALLY UNFAIR
whr did the saying of making frens with ur children/parents come from?
they whole day use their authority of parents de~
T.T
then now hav to tolerate my mum's temper agn while i cannot
CANNOT (muz remind myself)
flare up
if not things will get worse
im always the one tolerating
why?? T.T haiz no choice la~
aiya dun wan say them le...
ytd went wedding dinner then it was special sia!!
b4 the waitors came in, they played 'accidentally in love'!!
then the waitors and waitresses hooked arms and 'danced' in!! so cool!!
lols it was cute and quite fun to see haha
then after that the bridesgroom had to read a 'love letter' to the bride!!! (sabo-ed by frens)
then he further sabo-ed by everyone and had to kneel down while reading haha
then after that the emcee tell us to keep clapping
while we clap, the couple gonna french kiss!
the longer we clap the longer they kiss! haha it was quite funny
they stopped b4 we did obviously coz cant not enuf breath haha
it was unique sia very special ^^
then the bride looked rly rly blessed and happy ytd
it make me rly...i dunno how to say
just tot abt myself haha =P (no laughing)
i was thinking will i ever be there one day
will anyone even lyk me lor...
lols a bit childish? lame? anyway no laughing
coz she looked rly happy so these just popped up ma =P
it was rl nice to see them get married!
the day will come to everyone rite? ^^
hehe long way to go~haha
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
comfortable..where?
We are supposed to be the most comfortable at home...rite?
Where we can speak what we think without having to care abt what impression it's gonna leave...am i rite?
Or..am i wrong?
lols dunno la~
but hor
i think that
at home is where im most uncomfortable in instead~~~~~
even if i juz lyk snifle my nose a bit then my dad will start worrying too much and ask me whether i got cold or sth...
i know he juz caring la~
but hor
when EVERYTIME u do that he also say that
won't u get irritated?
already told him not le still keep ask
then i hav to rmb not to do that in front of him next time
then everytime i tell my day or sth special to my dad/mum (usually mum)
then he/she (usually she) will only say those typical stuff
those ideal answers
i dun wanna hear them
coz sometimes is quite unhappy things
what she say nvr fail to make me feel worse...
i still rmb that time mye results not gd then my dad say i cannot get into jc lyk tt de la
I WAS REALLY SUPER ANGRY
and yea posted it on my blog~~~
i was not exactly angry...it's juz...rly upsetting?
i know he doesnt know much abt going into jc and stuff but still...dun hav to say tt...
then tt day first time since 5 yrs old they see me cry becoz of sth else other than being beaten by them
o ya...thrid time...
first 2 times was when i was below 8~
so many yrs le~~lols
at home i hav to keep my mouth shut more than outside
cannot say wrong things de...
but i dun tok they also not happy
now i got a habit of not answering them liao...and they angry le
no pt in answering them de lor
make my ears hear more noise~
at sku better...got frens
but sometimes get "dao-ed" then will emo lols
coz seriously no one tok to me~
no one bothers
T.T
Where we can speak what we think without having to care abt what impression it's gonna leave...am i rite?
Or..am i wrong?
lols dunno la~
but hor
i think that
at home is where im most uncomfortable in instead~~~~~
even if i juz lyk snifle my nose a bit then my dad will start worrying too much and ask me whether i got cold or sth...
i know he juz caring la~
but hor
when EVERYTIME u do that he also say that
won't u get irritated?
already told him not le still keep ask
then i hav to rmb not to do that in front of him next time
then everytime i tell my day or sth special to my dad/mum (usually mum)
then he/she (usually she) will only say those typical stuff
those ideal answers
i dun wanna hear them
coz sometimes is quite unhappy things
what she say nvr fail to make me feel worse...
i still rmb that time mye results not gd then my dad say i cannot get into jc lyk tt de la
I WAS REALLY SUPER ANGRY
and yea posted it on my blog~~~
i was not exactly angry...it's juz...rly upsetting?
i know he doesnt know much abt going into jc and stuff but still...dun hav to say tt...
then tt day first time since 5 yrs old they see me cry becoz of sth else other than being beaten by them
o ya...thrid time...
first 2 times was when i was below 8~
so many yrs le~~lols
at home i hav to keep my mouth shut more than outside
cannot say wrong things de...
but i dun tok they also not happy
now i got a habit of not answering them liao...and they angry le
no pt in answering them de lor
make my ears hear more noise~
at sku better...got frens
but sometimes get "dao-ed" then will emo lols
coz seriously no one tok to me~
no one bothers
T.T
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