haiz

Everyday at home is a waste of time...
So why my parents dun let me out more?:(
Everytime say wan go out study then mum will huh again ar
Then keep ask y need go out study zz

Ytd she ask me
At home so quiet so nice so comfortable
Got meals ready
Y must go out study
Lols
Wonderful env sia-.-
Zzz I just can't la
So many distractions
And they both home summore
And whr got comfortable lor

I go out study ar got more 'pressure' to study lor
Like...coz I go out with the intention to study
So I rly would study
At home slack like crazy sia
Wts
I DON'T WANT STAY HOME FOR EVEN ONE DAY LA
it's a waste of time!!!!!

freaked...

howhowhow
WHY AM I SO BLUR???

im rly freaking out man...
damn panicking...
how...
i can't find zhenyan's thumbdrive...
WHR DID I DROP IT???!?
omg
she is so gonna kill me tmr...
im sooooooooooo dead...........

freak.
why so blur...
so careless...
so untrustworthy...
i feel so horrible now..
im so sorry...
so sorry...
i'll buy one return her...
but she is so gonna scold me tmr:(
ahhhhhhh so scary..........
how:(
im so worried.
so damn...
omg...
freak...

just now come home
i couldnt find my keys too
lucky dad hvent gone far
then i go take from him...
apparently i left it in another bag
i had a bit of impression of tt
so i went see tt bag and yea it was there lols
blur queen
such an idiot...

really..
i feel like such an idiot.
damn....dumb
ahhhhhh HOW LAAAAAAAAAA

truth revealed...

hi ppl...

ytd was napfa~
I left home pretty late so I took a cab there
In the end very early haha
But anw I tried my best la
Passed all except standing broad jump
Failed 92 year expectations again...
Like last yr...
Passed 93 94 leh
Idiot.
Today whole body aching can
waste my effort
Then can I dun run this thursday? No pt what...
Zzz....

Anw after tt went eat lunch
And mango ice coz very hot XD
Then went shuting house bathe
Then met char
N went nus together
Tt shuting blurblur
Made us get down wrong stop
Then had to walk two bus stops in nus
Haha nus is freaking big la
After looking at fass open house
We got lost trying to find fos
Took quite a while then take the internal bus service there
So crap la freaking big-.-
Anw fos nth much
Maths ppl are weird
So dao zzz
Didn't learn anything
Then went to hear a talk by some science person
Physics de
Quite interesting eh
He demo a lot stuff for us!
Funny sia him
Interesting lecture we had(:
yupps then went home at 5

Today ache all over
Argh...back pain tummy pain leg pain:(
Lucky hand nvr pain...
Then just now eat lunch
I ask mum
Why my ic write 92
Make me fail napfa twice;(
Then she told me my story...

Since young I had the theory that I was adopted
I can't rmb le
Maybe they sortof told me before but I didn't fully believe
Or they threw hints like pancakes haha
Anyway I alr had tt idea that since pri sku
Was upset before
But I didn't rly care la I just tot
They are my parents. End of story.
My only parents. Yepp.
Now the theory is confirmed
I am really adopted.
But my thinking hasn't changed.
I only have them as my parents.
Yupps.

Anyway story was sth like
Coz of china's lousy one child policy
I was unwanted as a girl in china
China blood runs in me...should I go 'ew'?
Haha jk...I have no feud against them
Anw then I was thrown into the orphanage
Mum heard about me then they adopted me la
But I was only 2 so couldn't la
Then got some agent help them
Use some other person's name n ic to bring me bk
So put me as 92 lor
Then mum say she went to find MPs at that time
So that I can start sku later
Coz I can't be like those 92 de ma..too young le la
But I only got to start one yr later
Yupps so I ended up with all my 93 friends
Though I'm actually a 94 kid. Yupps
Thts how it is.

Mum say nvr expect me to repay or anything
Just be a good gal
She say see me like tt won't yang them next time one
Just recognize tt I'm alr living a very gd life liao
Coz if not for them I still an unwanted girl in there...
Then she tell me I have one cousin same as me
Tt one know alr even better to her parents la etc
I felt like telling her
I never tot of throwing them aside
I would yang them one lor...
But I kept quiet...as usual
Tried to be calm la
I was eating ma
So just eateateat dun look up much

But after tt cried a bit la
Which was rly dumb coz there's nth to cry about
I dun rly feel sad lor
Cry what??
But dunno la just felt like crying
anw now I'm fine le la XD
At least now I know
That I'm a 94 kid
From china XP

心疼

心痛的感觉，你懂吗？

...

hmm
What should I say...

Well
Honestly

I'm scared:(
Really:(
More just now la actually
Now still ok...but a little worried
Actually not first time what
I dunno why so worried
But it seems more significant this time
Why so? Dunno.
Maybe coz I tot it was safe at first
But it turned out wrong?
Oh well we'll see how it goes?
Hopefully all's well la...

I will try to get over it...

fine

Fine~i'll STAY HOME and study okay!
i wont go out for the next few weekends okay??!?!
wts la i dun do well
i'm gonna put some blame on her lols-.-
seriously la.
giving me all sorts of problem la
like i dun have enough.
thanks.
world best parents

and anyway
cat's out the bag eh?
everyone who reads this blog knows liao
so oh well
dun rly have to hide anymore
but...cant rly write explicitly still...
for all sorts of reason...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR ANG!!

HELLO!XD

happy birthday cher!
well i lazy type well wishes liao la
everything's in the letter~
sorry for the super awful handwriting
i was basically scribbling lol XPPP

wanted to make a nice card for you de la
but then ytd went csc forum reached home at 9
so u know didnt lor
just wrote tt long letter for you~

and im sorry for not abiding by your 'rule'
HOPE YOU LIKE UR PRESENT!

and today gp need use laptop
SO IM HERE WITH MY LAPTOP!!

...

I didn't want to answer my dad just now
Some stupid questions again
I'm in a horrible mood sorry la-.-

Then he say if I wan give him black face
Might as well dun come home
Come home he see me also not happy la

Yea true
U THINK I WAN COME HOME AR
I COME HOME ALSO VERY NOT HAPPY LA
Almost everyday cry:(
And looks like they both don't welcome me here anyway.
I also dun wanna come home la...
Do I look like I'm willing...

Tired

So damn tired...

Just now reached home around 645.
Pit down stuff only haven't even got to rest
Then got singtel ppl call ma
Then dad ask me talk to them wts
Then spent one whole hour wait for them to be done
Wts la the person speak Chinese leh
He cannot speak meh
I'm like so super tired!!!!!
Coz tt singtel person control my com thru gotoassist
So I wait la
Then I fell asleep a lot times
Dad didn't even notice
Then tt singtel person think I idiot ar
Talk so much crap like I can't read English
Or follow instructions like tt
Irritating shit.

Now haven't bathe haven't eat eh
I just feel like sleeping

And my dad keeps using my com la wts
Everyday eh
Zzzzzzzzz
I'm damn irritated liao seriously

He just came by ask me go eat
He ask me dun come home then give him black face
Wts....
Stupid insensitive old man
I'm crying again:(
Idiot.
Life's so tiring
Esp when even ur parents dunno u at all.
Nothing. They know nothing.
Oblivious to their surroundings. Only care about themselves. As always.
Great. Wonderful. Excellent.

Future paths

In order of interest:
Psychology
Maths
Accounting
Stats

In order of predicted capability(estimated):
Maths
Stats
Accounting
Psychology

According to usefulness(how applicable):
Statistics
Accounting
Maths
Psychology

o.o

maths test

Was it because I misunderstood the question?
Or because I wasn't familiar with the topic?
Or I wasn't in the right state of mind?
Anw I don't think I did well...

o.o

In the weeeeee hrs this morning
After my mum scolded me
There was my routine crying of coz
Someone told me crying is for weaklings
And I'm one^^ who cares
I know I suck-.-

But at that time...
I was calling out to someone
Hoping someone was there
Maybe 'apparate' or sth haha
Ridiculous XP
Oh well.
I'm feeling slightly better now
BUT I HAVEN'T STUDY FOR MATHS TEST!!!

Run away...

She make me feel like cowering in fear...
Or running away....
I was so afraid to wake up to her cane today...
But that fear woke me up early I see...

But then of coz
Its all my own fault.
I feel quite sorry towards her...
She couldn't sleep thanks to me
But I got my eyes swollen again
And I'm not sure I'm in a right mood for the maths test later
I'll try my best? o.O

And I know I won't apologize even if I know I should
I pictured it but it wouldn't come true...
And summore the thing is
I hate it when she ask me to get out
And find someone else willing to take me in...

Btw I'm bidding farewell to my phone n iPod every night:(
Again. -.-