long time no see~

hey peeps

so long never update

is there anyone who still reads my blog?

anyway just felt like posting...

did so horribly for jcts...
BDDEU

yesterday stayed back in school to study again
then spend one hour in canteen helping wanshan
with her complex numbers tutorial 3
while ver and yingen ate their lunch.
i was kidding about charging her for consultation LOL
started with like $1/hour then say too little
become 30
then ver or yingen say charge high she also will want la
inelastic demand LOL
i was saying ya hor perfectly inelastic :P
so i can charge $100 she still will want LOL

next hour in library helping wanshan and kailun.
t3 again.
but quite simple questions la though i haven't do yet.
i still at warm up Q1 ma :P
anyway then after shubei came ask me basic Q6 which is damn tough
she say she spent 2 hrs on Q4 and Q5 EACH LOL
she say will take 4 days to finish the tutorial one LOL

anyway after that dunno why
probably i just mood swing la-.-
but anyway quite emo
maybe pissed at complex numbers :P
anyway after that suddenly got emo la
wondering about my 'A's
felt so not confident...felt hopeless...

was so worried...
so lack confidence...
don't know if it's possible to do well...
doesn't seem possible...

there's like no encouragement and support at all
and obviously translates to no push and motivation-.-
my parents whole day stress me stress me stress me
ask me do well do well do well
but don't let me stay sku late to STUDY
don't let me STUDY outside
though i don't study at home zzz
so unfair...
haiz
so stressed without mugging like veron.
damn suck right me :(
i'm really trying my best these few days to study more
work harder le...
really trying...
trying not to slack as much...
or at all la but very tough eh
i'm trying.....
was so teary in school
lucky kailun never notice...

then after i left school
on my way home
left my phone on the bus:(:(
then call dad using friend phone tell him i go tamp take
lucky found it sia
then dad call me
ask me go back take commendation letter
i was like wth?!?
FOR WHAT??!
and damn weird eh
it's so random la
i shy la dun wan to la
and already left le still go back take for what
though just came out but still very weird ma
then he got very angry and i can tell
he almost scolded vulgarities liao
or maybe he did but i didnt hear clearly
then i cried :(
wts lor
then i damn scared go home...dunno how
haiz

then went home
he ask if i took
i didnt reply
then he flared up
say i small thing also don't help him do
(none of his business at all lor-.-)
then say don't get money from him liao
want then get from mum
then say after sku must come home immediately
or else don't go home
wts-.-

then i burst out crying again
once i go into my room
want to 崩溃 le lor zzz
cried so badly ytd
i go bathe ma then come out realised my eyes
SUPER blood shot la
damn red lols
oh well
and hor mum also unhappy leh
dunno whats wrong with her
she never scold me
but damn obvious she not happy la
her tone was damn wth lor
shouting replies for what sia-.-
make me even more upset

i'm like damn upset le leh
i'm not counting on her to console me
or help me la
at least don't need make it worse right?!?!
haiz

today eyes so swollen:(

then today scared dad really don't let me go home LOL
actually i didnt care
i still wanted stay back
but kailun say scully really leh
so i went back at 4, after the college clean up ma
he didnt answer when i called him when i reached home
not that i care la

THEN HOR
after that he auto talked to me...nicely-.-
wts
he's like nothing happened can
waste my tears:(
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
but oh well
i should be happy right?
zzzz