忘记

原来忘记真的没有那么容易。
越是在意，越是心系，越是想忘记，就越难遗忘。

回忆的纠缠，很困扰。
会不经意地想起，然后因为想起而愧疚。
会不经意地比较，然后讨厌自己的比较。
会不经意地内疚，然后又为内疚而内疚。
放不下，又忘不了。

我觉得我真的应该勇敢地面对他，见他一面，问他好不好。让我们真正的结束，让我们渐渐成为普通朋友。让我们放下过去。

只有这样，我才能走向我的未来呀。

Ugh.

Somehow, thinking about it, looking back at it...
I still feel so bad about it. So terrible.
I am kinda worried and bothered. But I feel bad feeling this way.

Such a terrible person I am. Seriously.
Times like that, I really hate myself.
Terrible. Terrible. Terrible.

If I have to feel like that,
I might as well have ended it more graciously
and appropriately.
I don't like regretting but I really think
it could and should have been done better.
Though I still don't think I could have done it.
I suck at such stuff. At being brave.
I'm a coward. Still am.
I still don't dare to face him.

Just now saw someone passing by,
looked like him.
Got a bit panicky, though we was well just passing by.
Went to see how it ended again
and felt so bothered again. Lol. Stupid or what.

Ugh. I wish I can know how he is feeling about it now.
How he is doing now.
So that I can feel more at ease about it.
I don't think I should be feeling worried about him anyway.
I don't la, usually, only sometimes at such moments,
or when I see his friends around.

Saw zhen kang earlier today and that was so awkward.
Then he asked me how I have been
and said that he heard that I've been busy with NTUBS lol.
I just said ya and didn't said more.
He said it as if I am neglecting him coz of that,
but it's more than that ma. He shoulddd know ba, they are pretty close.
But he's not someone who shares easily. Ah, whatever.
Don't like meeting his friends in school lol.

And neither do I want to meet him either.
I hope I have the courage to face him as a friend again actually.
I think I will be able to finally put it behind me 100%.

Now, I am not sure if it's just guilt bugging me lol.
I feel so disturbed at my own cowardice.
Like I am such a terrible person who hurt him with my own flaws.
Why do they like me? They have such bad taste.
Ugh. I feel so unworthy of their love.

I owe many many people much thanks in my whole life till now.
So many people. So much gratitude for all of you.
For giving me a wonderful life up till today. :)
And sorry to all those I have hurt, for being a terrible person.
I will try my best not to hurt anyone else anymore.

I shall keep reminding myself.
This too, shall pass.
All these guilt and cowardice will pass.
I will put all these behind me and look only forward.

May I become a better person and may I be able to give my other half happiness,
for a long, long time.

Jiayou, Si Hui!

...Aish.

Quick Biz Management Tips in Interesting Stories XD

Lesson 1:  A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.  The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.  When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.  Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'  

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.  

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.  When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'  'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' 

Moral of the story:  If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

  

Lesson 2:  A priest offered a Nun a lift.  She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.  The priest nearly had an accident.  After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg....  The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'  The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.  The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'  The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'  Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily  and went on her way.  On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'  

Moral of the story:  If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. 

Lesson 3:  A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.  They rub it and a Genie comes out.  The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'  'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'  Puff! She's gone.  'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life..'  Puff! He's gone.  'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.  The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after  lunch.' 

Moral of the story:  Always let your boss have the first say.  

Lesson 4 : An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.  A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'  The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'  So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it..  

Moral of the story:  To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.  

Lesson 5  A turkey was chatting with a bull.  'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'  'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'  The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.  The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.  Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.  He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. 

Moral of the story:  Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.. 

Lesson 6  A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.  While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.  As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.  The dung was actually thawing him out!  He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.  A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.  Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. 

Morals of the story:  

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.  

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your  friend. 

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep  your mouth shut!  

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE  Send this to at least five bright, funny people you know and make their day!

Discouraged

I really feel so discouraged lols.

I know I haven't been putting in enough effort
but this feeling sucks.
Needing to ask my friend for help sucks.
Especially he's not even Math major.
He's taking this module as a minor lol

Damn angry at myself.
Bloody hell. It was a JC-level DE question and I couldn't solve it.
What was I thinking. Ugh.

Ugh. After this semester,
I'm really wiping my hands free of other commitments
except the temporary ones like camp la lol.

I hope I would study harder without all those stuff bugging me throughout.
Because I hate this feeling.
Makes me feel weak. Really really noob and lousy.

I can do it!!!! It's Math. I can work harder and I can do it.
They can, and so do I. And I will do it.

@.@

INFJ

did this test like several times already....
always same result though different percentages haha

this time:
Introversion - 20%, Intuition - 7%, Feeling - 13%, Judging - 13%.

...

I NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG OK. ...

It's not the day to emo!

It's not the first time, not even the second time.
Probably third or fourth already.
To you, maybe I'm just throwing tantrums,
I'm having mood swings.
But I don't get upset for no reason at all you know.
Maybe it may seem exaggerating or unnecessary
But I'm upset for a reason. Not for nothing.
Though it always ends in nothing.

I have always looked down on myself,
Especially physically.
Sometimes I see people who others call fat,
And I will think, but their skin is so smooth
Or their hair is so nice.
I see short people,
I'll think, I'm short too but at least they look cute.
Unlike me.
I'm like short and fat and tanned
And my skin and hair are both horrible
I have countless scars on my legs and face,
I'm dropping hair, my hair quality is really poor,
My tummy accumulates fats so fast
And my legs are fat too.

So I really don't need you to keep harping on it.
I know you probably don't mean it.
You're just teasing me, but can't you ever,
Like EVER think from my point of view?

And how many times have I told you
not to keep looking at your phone?
Especially when I'm already upset.
I'm like emoing and you're on Facebook
Or reading some articles or whatsoever.

Yaya, go ahead and ignore me then you ask me what's wrong.
..

You know when you kept calling me fat today
The thought that appeared was
I don't want to eat. Don't want to eat.
I want to slim down.
Yea so no lunch today.

Anyway it's not the day to emo because
I have rally later!!!
How to get my mood back?=/