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猪头猪脑猪尾巴
白痴智障大笨蛋
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argh

no matter how gd mood i was
when i come home ar
a while gone le.
immediately turn into terrible irritable mood -.-
argh.
i was soooo happy just now de leh!

today was so fun de leh!
met jiaqing
supposed to study
but quite fail la
he say he forgot everything le
then he didnt rly study
then we talktalktalk LOL
then 3+ started listening to my ipod de music
he browse thru see what he know ma
then he play some sing a bit etc
then like that until 6 eh LOL
then go home.
i only managed to go 1 essay outline today...
but it was fun...
so long nvr talk to casually with someone
esp is guy. even more rare.
was rly nice coz he super chatty
but then come home then sianz le. haiz.

i rly cannot take it leh wts.
cried again little bit only la though
coz i was telling myself not to cry
not worth it
sheesh.
although i keep thinking i shouldnt mind
it shouldnt affect me
but.
argh.
idiot.
im scolding myself la.
dumbo eh.
haiz.

i wan to grow up.
i wan to do what i wan
i wan to live as "FOO SI HUI"
not just as their child.
i don't want to live their ideals
i wan to live my own life...
but even if i grow up
they probably wont stop controlling me
...
it sucks eh
i rly dunno what im living for eh
according to what they wan me to do/be
im supposed to study hard
and not get too involved with other stuff
don't waste money don't need have too much fun
relax once in a while can liao. playing com is probably enough.
then study hardhard go uni
maybe study even more
and take high degree
and get a gd job tt pays high
even if i hate the job
dun care. pay high can liao.
and then what else???
married got kid raise them up then leave the world soon.
whats the pt of a life like this?

two days ago
tt night i also cant rmb why i was thinking of this la
i wasnt in an emo mood
it just suddenly came to my mind i think.
i wsa thinking sth tt i've tot about a lot of times...
whats the meaning of life haha
i since damn long ago will think about this once in a while de la
but i nvr found my answer.
the life described above is the only thing i can imagine.
but life is just this one try
there isnt a second chance.
its just these years..
i just want to have no regrets and
do whatever i want to do
not that dont study la
i wan to survive too...
but...
argh.
i think i dont fit into this world.
it doesnt suit me...
why is everything about being better than others?
whats wrong with not being the best?
im not an ambitious person
i never was
and i dont want to be either
its so tiring...
im a lazy pig
i just want to go what i wan
and enjoy life
and be happy.
tt's more than enough.
but i guess it would just be a dream.......

(btw just add a little thing
ytd went udders with mr ang and veron
eat iceee creeaaammm :D
it was great
quite fun
coz veron was amazingly amusing hehe
then when we on the bus
we were saying tj no shuai ge
mr ang say cannot be so shallow LOL
then i say "you also what"
veron copy me haha
it was comical LOL hehe
aiya eye candy only what
also not like looking for bf haha... :P)